Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Rhymes With Bank

I love little moments of surrealism
Tonight was a case in point


We were doing " sex calls" during Samaritan training
And one trainer, who is a serious sounding and very elderly lady
Lent forward in her chair and said very very slowly
" Sometimes all the caller wants to hear .......is the word .....WANK!"
I looked at my fellow trainee with eyes like a bush baby
And we didn't stop laughing until we had to break for tea

35 comments:

  1. oh my god! like Doris the neighbour in gavin and Stacey tv programme. I would have wet myself and slipped out of my seat from convulsing with laughter.

    you lead an extremely varied life

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  2. What is Samaritan training and what the heck is a sex call? If we were talking about the animal kingdom, I'd be on the same page, but is this human sex calling?
    (feeling stupid in the US)

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    1. Samaritans is a charity that provide a telephone answering service for people in distress........
      It therefore has its fair share of crank calls

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  3. Where's Tom? Oh right...something about shafts.

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  4. i need to have this translated too. i am guessing what wank means!? also feeling stupid in america.

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    Replies
    1. Wank = self pollution

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    2. Here I am. I think the word 'pollution' is a bit misleading, unless you are the wankee rather than the wanker.

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  5. this american knows what wank is; hell, I practice wanking on a regular basis! :)

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  6. Years ago I took the training to work "Care Line"... America's answer to calls in distress... and I'll never forget sitting around in a circle and each of us was supposed to say a word that had a sexual meaning. I think it was so that we'd not gasp and flutter if we got such a call... I have a feeling everyone of us was familiar with the words. (after I wrote that, I realized that those words change some over the years... my granddaugher uses the word "hoochie" in a way different way than I'd have used it 40-50 years ago)

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  7. This had to be the high point of that meeting...especially coming from the elderly! Love it!

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  8. I hear you. We get them here too - probably because the crisis line is much cheaper than the dedicated sex lines. Oxygen thieves...

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  9. Thank you Kelly and Jaz for asking what I was going to ask. Of course with the headline I was thinking "crank", "hank", even "skank", never did I imagine that "wank" was where we were going, LOL.

    Sex calls? Samaritan training? Quite the lively little village...

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  10. This old lady still had a good memory..

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  11. That old gal must be a real hoot.

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  12. I presume this is when lots of people all WINK at the same time; one says 'they WANK'.

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  13. And how are you supposed to react to such callers? Advise them to listen to their 'inner voice'?

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  14. The elderly can be quite surprising. I hope to be one of them some day!

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    1. Why is every one so suprised this remark came from an "elderly" lady; don't you realise she has probably been there, done that, before you were a twinkle in your Dads eye!!

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    2. I was actually laughing on her delivery more than the word itself.....
      She was so deadpan...it tickled me

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  15. Wait 'til you get the tights man.

    LLX

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  16. Interesting reading in the comments here. Two countries separated by a common language indeed! (But they drive on the pavement over there, don't they?)

    Seriously though. I always assumed that all Samaritans calls would be from people who were depressed and desperate. It never occurred to me that some might be frustrated and desperate.

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    Replies
    1. MorningAJ - we have quite a few different meanings! Before my only trip to the UK many decades ago, a British friend gave me some language lessons. I also worked for the British Consulate General in Atlanta, Georgia at the time, so I went prepared.

      Nancy in Iowa

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  17. lol.....I remember the sex call training, although never had the trainer say wank, plenty of callers later though. Hope you are finding it all an enlightening experience John. Good on you for going for it!

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  18. In my minds eye the lady in question looked just like Margaret Rutherford..........

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  19. My mother once asked my teenage brother what wank meant !

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  20. If I ever have to ring the Samaritans, I hope I get that lady answering....or you of course John.

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  21. Are The Samaritans doing "phone sex" now? Perhaps they should change their name to The Babylonians. I can now see why you were attracted to the role.

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  22. John, I am sitting in an Internet place in rural France -- everyone quiet and serious -- trying not to laugh too uproarioualy ... what a hoot!

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  23. And I am about to BE one of the elderly - I think I'll have some fun!!!

    Nancy in Iowa

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  24. Ha ha, I wondered how you were getting on with this.

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  25. Haha. Wonderful. :-)
    Hope your day has been a good one, John. ♥

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  26. Ah yes the sex call training - hilarious and quite bonding for the trainees. Bloody irritating after your 3rd sex call on a night duty.

    good luck John - and keep your end up ;-)

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  27. John, I have just noticed that you have 596 followers, you sexy thing, you! And I bet that by the time you read this comment, four more will have signed up and you'll have a nice big round number. Oo-er, missus!

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  28. Sex calls? SEX CALLS? I want to volunteer.

    Love,
    Janie

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