|Hold your duckling in a vice like grip at all times..it minimises shit splatters|
When it comes to dirty hands Chris and I couldn't be more different. He has perfectly manicured hands that would be the envy of any tv chef (poor darling Nigella) whilst my stubby, nail bitten pigs trotters are invariably covered in one bodily secretion or another that stinks to high heaven.
Now before this little snippet of information has everyone running to the phone to report me to our local nhs infection control sister, I have to say that at work my hands are scrubbed within an inch of their stubby little lives......at home.......however the reality is somewhat different.
Last night, I went to the community Council Meeting, so Chris had been asked to put the ducks and the geese to bed. A job he does under a tiny bit of sufferance. I returned home just as he was finishing the job and out of devilment I passed him the two ducklings, asking him to return them to the shed for the night.
Now ducklings may look fluffy, sweet and totally adorable
But in real life they are hysterical, squirming shit bundles from hell.
To control them safely, you have to hold them very firmly indeed with their arses pointed away from any decent clothing. Their feet ( which they always seem to poo on) are constanly in motion, so moving them can be a somewhat messy and smelly operation.
I know it was a little naughty of me, but I told Chris non of this before I handed the little shit magnets over to him last night.......tee hee