Thursday, 6 June 2013

A Turkey On The Back Seat



Sore but well behaved
It's been a bit of a surreal morning all told.
Somehow Bingley got himself jabbed in the arse by one of the fence poles surrounding Bosoms during which he sustained a rather nasty puncture wound. A wound that, in my opinion needed a stitch. 
The vet practice I go to is ten miles from Trelawnyd, so without much thought, I placed a Marks & Spencer carrier bag on the back seat of the Berlingo, plonked Bingley onto it and set off to the vets.
Now I wasn't sure if  Gorgeous George Clooney was on duty this morning, but I did make a bit of an effort and put on my best Walking Dead T shirt on before motoring on inland, just in case...

Bingley , bless his little cotton socks is thick as mince, and so, to me, it wasn't at all strange that he sat quite calmly during the whole journey, gazing out of the window, seemingly enjoying the whole experience despite his injury. He was good as gold, when the 13 year old vet stitched his wound ( well he was wrapped up tightly in a blanket to make sure) and he didn't batter an eyelid when we stopped at a butchers on the way home ( the same butchers that dispatched the pigs last year as it happened) in order for me to buy a proper country scotch egg for my lunch.

I was just getting back into the Berlingo, when a passing woman stopped short and said rather incredulously in her best Lady Bracknell voice
" Is that a TURKEY on the back seat?"
" Yes" I said brightly" he does so love a trip out when it's sunny"
And with that I drove off.......

86 comments:

  1. Good laugh with coffee this morning, John.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Laughing Out Loud! He was so well behaved you may have to take him out for a ride again! Glad he's OK!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh I LOVE it. What a lovely post about the gentlemanly Bingley. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. He looks lovely back there. You should've gone thru every drive-up on the way home just for fun. Over the years we've had calves, goats, pigs and various hideous family members in the back seats of our cars. The animals never left as much manure as the humans

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Donna, if I had known just how quiet he would be I would have put him in the front seat

      Delete
  5. Well, it's a change to hear of a placid turkey, given the recent news coming out of there. Please pass on my best wishes to Bingley for a speedy recovery of his wounded rump.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He looks fine.... Not even a limp

      Delete
  6. On my way to an anatomy class one day I strapped my very authentic cardboard cutout skeleton into the passenger seat and set off down the motorway......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what you told the police marianne

      Delete
  7. John, I have had a really rotten week,(!!!!) and your post has given me a little grin when I've needed it--Thanks for that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are welcome Kim.... Sorry about your crappy week

      Delete
  8. Have you trained this turkey? As for calling at the butchers - surely that was a bit cruel - did the butcher eye him up as possible meat for the slab? You are still at the Scotch eggs I read - hope you gave that turkey a bit as a reward for being a good boy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol, pat , I had not really thought about the irony of parking next to a butchers shop

      Delete
  9. Oh dear. He'll need his dressings changing.. more kitchen table ministrations.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, Jess..... Just a squirt of antibacterial spray thank goodness

      Delete
  10. You're just a big softie. When Doggie got shot, Dominic held her down while I dug the bullet out of her thigh before filling it with anti-biotic powder and sticking in a couple of stitches. Charlie, now that his balls have dropped is constantly in the wars and he gets the same treatment when he comes home bleeding and lacerated after having been beaten up by the local Alpha dog (his Dad). Dominic learnt to stitch, sorry, suture when I was working on the dogs so he was pretty bloody efficient when I asked him to stitch my head up.

    Marcia finds it all quite revolting but I find it infinitely preferable to a 200 km round trip to a vet or a doctor who will charge me the earth just to do exactly the same.

    Just think, if everyone had the same attitude, the NHS would work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The NHS does work, Hippo. Take it from me. And I am not even English. I am sure you are a fine needle (wo)man but no one stitched me up better than the one and only. Her handy work is famed within the profession. Still, castaways can't be choosers and I am not a loser, so I'd let you have a go should we ever find ourselves on a desert island. Alone. Dear dog in heaven. Hope, John will tag along.

      U

      Delete
    2. ...I have one comment about animal keeping
      If you choose to have animals....you look after them

      Delete
  11. Not something one sees every day, even in Trelawnyd.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I have had 2 pigs, 1 goat and a few dozen hens in the car on several occasions x

      Delete
  12. I couldn't believe the cackle that burst from my mouth when I read the last bit of your post! This is just another reason I don't drink coffee - it would have been all over my keyboard! Will Bingley have to go back to the child vet to have stitches removed, or are they dissolvable?

    Laughing, laughing, Nancy in Iowa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will sort them out tee hee

      Delete
  13. Brilliant !!

    What a well behaved passenger :-)

    ReplyDelete
  14. There can't be many turkeys that escape a visit to the butchers!

    ReplyDelete
  15. No further mention of GGC... I guess he wasn't working?
    Shame, that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No he was no where to be seen... Mores the pity

      Delete
  16. He's a good little man! Only putting him in a children's car seat could have made it better in the front seat....cars would have been going off the road...I love it!

    ReplyDelete
  17. maybe she was horrified to think that you were DELIVERING the poor creature to the butchers :-O

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lord I never thout of that kath

      Delete
  18. So funny! I wish I could have seen the lady's face! :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Lovely story John. I took our goat Rowan off on honeymoon to Dornoch, in the back of a Simca van. Two weeks later back I went to bring her home, a trip of well over an hour. On arrival home, I don't know who smelt more of billy goat her or me!

    LLX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And Bingley never even had a poo

      Delete
  20. ...but did you share a morsel of your scotch egg with your passenger?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did give him a bit of breadcrumb Vera x

      Delete
  21. Great funny story John !
    I have to go to the doctors today and starting yesterday been more and more upset getting ready for this visit, so reading about Bingley this morning put me in such a good mood.
    Thanks so much.

    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hope everything went ok x

      Delete
  22. You put a big smile on my face this morning, John! I love your turkey story -- and the picture is priceless!

    ReplyDelete
  23. :D

    Bingley should go for more car rides!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't put ideas into his head

      Delete

  24. My friend transported her gander up the A1 on the back seat. To prevent him panicking she put her glove over his head. Passing motorists saw only the gander's neck sticking up with glove attached. Thankfully, no major traumas to traffic or goose but it conjurs up a wonderful picture. Love your blog!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now, that IS a good story

      Delete
  25. Great story :-) Just the thing to read in my hospital bed!Had hip replaced yesterday [all has gone swimmingly]. The hospital here in France has wifi, hurrah! Antoinette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You sound rather chipper for 1 day post surgery well done x

      Delete
    2. Physio had me standing by my bed this afternoon :-) Roll on the crutches tomorrow.
      Dishy night nurse--suspect you'd agree

      Delete
    3. Blog a photo of him

      Delete
  26. My dear John, talk about FREE RANGE. That turkey will be worth a bloody fortune come next Thanksgiving and/or Christmas. Hugh F-W, stuff your own!

    U

    ReplyDelete
  27. What a good day, John. You could drool over the 13 yr old and shock a woman. Perfect! I hope Bingley heals quickly and you take him to the drive-thru - just for laughs!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I always take a turkey out for a drive.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  29. Your life is a bit Jeeves and Wooster sometimes isn't it John.......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So I like to think libby

      Delete
  30. Haha I love that last line! He looks so cute sitting in your car. I hope his wound heals quickly! Love that you put on your best Walking Dead t-shirt before heading to the vet. I was just telling my husband yesterday how much I miss that show. I'm having withdrawals!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Me too....... Roll on October!

    ReplyDelete
  32. It's a rare post that will make me laugh out loud, but you have done it with this one ... add in the fact that I'm croaky from a cold and I'm thinking if anyone had heard me they'd think it was a sick rooster trying to crow ... Thanks for the fun on a sick day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You need some turkey soup.... Strike that...make it chicken soup

      Delete
  33. Come on. What really happened?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your mind could not get any lower if it hitched a ride to the centre of the earth

      Delete
  34. Doesn't everyone drive round with a bloody great Turkey in the back seat ?
    No ? only just at Christmas then.

    I laughed out loud too and also have croaky throat.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I hope the sheep never have any mishaps and need to be transported to the vet via Berlingo, for some reason I think they WOULD do a poo.
    Sweet Bingley, he deserves an extra treat, maybe a Scottish egg.
    You are a marvelous caretaker John.
    ~Jo

    ReplyDelete
  36. At first I was surprised that Bingley did not shat on the Mark & Spencer bag, but then again he was likely scared shatless by the whole episode. I was thinking that today is your election for the city counselor. You should have taken Bingley to cast his vote. It might have encouraged the villagers to get involved in local government if they saw that even an arse poked turkey could make the effort to exert their voting privilage.
    Are country scotch eggs superior to urban scotch eggs?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ellen
      Strangely enough he was calm enough on the way home to eat some of my egg

      Delete
  37. I think you should take Bingley on regular outings, now that you know he enjoys them. Thanks for the laugh, John!

    ReplyDelete
  38. That was one of the most endearing blog posts ever. It got you 67 responses! It must have been like 'Driving Miss Daisy".

    ReplyDelete
  39. I love this story! Well done, John and Bingley! Reminds of when I was little and raising lambs for 4H projects. We took one of them to the County Fair in the back seat of a Volkswagon bug. Yes, we got some looks for that, too!

    plufrompdx.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  40. You are a prince for being so good to your turkey! What a lovely post!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Heheheeh........ You are hilarious! And I'm glad Bingley is on the mend!

    ReplyDelete
  42. what a story! i love the photo of him on the back seat! your package will be there in about a week unless tied up at customs!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great comeback, John. Happy Friday to you all. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  44. LADY BRACKNELL "Oh Humphrey, the fellow was exceedingly coarse. I could hardly understand a single word he said but on my father's life I swear it was a fucking turkey!"

    ReplyDelete
  45. I so wish you lived in my neighborhood.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I would have done a double take if I saw a turkey sitting in a car. Lol at Yorkshire Pudding.

    ReplyDelete
  47. I always did like Bingley.
    I once saw a lion in the cab of a beat-up old pickup truck.

    ReplyDelete
  48. I would love to see that. In my city there is a gentleman who takes his llamas driving. The sit in the sedan with him and go and visit nursing homes and palliative care centres. And are much loved everywhere. He also takes them to funerals when people who have been particularly fond of them die - a lovely touch. A llama improves a funeral considerably.

    ReplyDelete
  49. You never fail to make me smile x

    ReplyDelete
  50. My - the Berlingo upholstery is nearly as classy as the Megane's. Has it had a few turkey stains added or did Bingley remain on his bag? x

    ReplyDelete
  51. Have you seen the video of Patches the horse? I imagine if you had a big animal, it would also ride in your Berlingo! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=903cPL30pFo

    ReplyDelete
  52. You are a nut, have a great weekend John.

    ReplyDelete
  53. I wonder how many people that lady told the turkey story to? Great shot, and I hope he's feeling better soon/

    ReplyDelete
  54. What a well behaved turkey! I miss ours, died of old age.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x