Wednesday, 15 May 2013

The Shame.......The Shame.......oh The Shame

I went to see a nine year old sports physiotherapist this afternoon
I thought a physio assessment would be of more benefit to me
I am still suffering from sciatic pain down my left leg.
I made sure I was all squeaky clean for the " hands on"
I smelled of soap and Clinique "happy"
I even wore a newly washed pair of pants
And when the physio bent my knees up in order to stretch my spine
I let out a huge, loud,wet FART

Oh the shame
The shame
I cannot really remember much else about the consultation
World swallow me whole

Wish I did!

78 comments:

  1. OKay, so there wasnt any animals in the room to blame that on...but Im sure the nine year old sports physiotherapist could relate being nine years old and all...but YAY!!!! YOU ARE GETTING HELP FOR THE SCIATIA!!!!

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    1. She ( the physio) made the whole experience worse by NOT MENTIONING the fart

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  2. I bet it happens to him ALL the time. When the human body is bent in half, it's bound to back-fire.

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    1. She did say at the end that most people fart at one point or another... It still didn't make me feel any better

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  3. Oh. Dear. I am not laughing - honest!

    I hope the physio will help with your sciatica as I know how painful it is :-(

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    Replies
    1. The jury is out on this one

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  4. And when I worked as a Holistic Therapist, that would happen a lot - muscles relaxing etc. I am sure the Physio is used to that happening!

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  5. You do make me laugh!

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  6. I have nightmares of that happening during the female legs up feet in stirrups thingy....at my age it can happen anytime the old muscles ain't what they used to be! Would loved to be a fly on the wall for that one...you are just too adorable....

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  7. Me thinks you have a looseness somewhere....lol
    Briony
    xx

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  8. I usually fart when I go to the gynecologist.

    Love,
    Janie

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  9. Must be doubly embarrassing knowing that your nine-year old physio has certainly NEVER 'let off' in his entire life! Right?

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  10. Nothing like a good humbling is there?

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  11. "Whispering in my panties" sounds much worse than farting.

    I don't know if I admire your honesty (by telling us all about it) or if I'm simply appalled.

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    Replies
    1. Hopefully it's the former

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  12. If he was nine, bet he was up for a farting contest...

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  13. at least you weren't visiting the proctologist! hey...maybe the guy didn't even notice!?

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  14. At least that part's working pain free.

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  15. 'Better an empty house than a bad tenant'......but oh dear fancy happening at such a time!

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  16. Bogbrush has his revenge. Skidmarks R Us.

    LLX

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  17. I'm sure you're not the first or the last......
    But it's always good for a laugh !!

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  18. Have a Scotch egg,you'll feel better.
    Jane x

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    Replies
    1. I couldn't enjoy it... The shame

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  19. Don't worry John my sphincter has just let me down reading this post and the comments you've been left so I needed some clean underwear.
    Jo xx

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  20. Yoga has gotten even more challenging as I age, for this exact age. Imagine all the gasses floating around in a roomful of over-40 women in downward-facing dog.

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    Replies
    1. "this exact reason." That was age-related, too. :)

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  21. Replies
    1. Ok.... I guess it was a bit over the top mentioning it

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    2. Better out than in (discuss).

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  22. An incident best forgotten!

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  23. Now this incident had my students on the floor in laughter.

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    1. Use this as a valuable lession to teach your kids the horrors of a high BMI, middle age and flatulence

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    2. Or rather, the consequences of an indulgent addiction to Scotch eggs?

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  24. I would say John that you are eating far to many Scotch Eggs !!

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  25. as the pope said to me when I met him......"son, your are a disgrace to yourself, your family and more importantly, god himself "

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    Replies
    1. Well that makes me feel better

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  26. John, sciatica is a bitch. I have every sympathy, being a sometime sufferer myself. I hope the physiotherapy helps, and don't worry about the fart, I'm sure you're not the only one and she's heard it all before! I find the best exercise for my back problems is regular swimming, the kicking and stretching seems to strengthen all the right muscles.

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  27. I find it interesting that you are shamed by the farting incident, but not enough to refrain from telling all of us about it in all it's hilarious details. Not that I think you should stop telling us about all your amusing farting tales, just an observation. Everyone (well, maybe not Tom) gets a good belly laugh from bathroom humor starting at age 3. I simply must find time to visit when we come over in October.

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    1. The physio didn't make a joke out of it......which would have been the best thing for me.
      She just went silent......
      Awful........

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    2. That was rather rude of her!!! Teach her a lesson and don't go back. Hope you get some relief from your pain and your shame very soon.

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  28. Having missed the whole hoopla about Red Ninja, I just googled 'Red Ninja Blogger". That profile says it all.

    So don't worry. It was just a practice fart for when you meet up with Red Ninja to have a conversation.

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    Replies
    1. Red Ninja is a 'food service professional'. HE may be able to help John with his flatulence/Scotch egg problem.

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    2. I think that a 'food service professional' may well be someone who works for MacDonalds! - no help with flatulence there, I fear. Have you ever heard a horse fart?

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  29. You and your old farts. I love you. xoxoxo ha ha

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  30. Bloody hell tom..... Miss MARPLE or what?

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  31. bwhahahahaha! too many scotch eggs, eh?

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  32. A diet high in leafy green things and lower in processed pork and eggs would solve the BMI and the flatulence at a stroke.
    All will be well when you've got Bosoms in full swing.

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  33. Disgusting! Was it a smelly one? When the North Sea gas supplies run out, they'll be attaching a pipeline to your rear end.

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  34. A woman in our knitting group said she started a new medicine then went to her circuit weight training session at the health club.

    She told us she was farting at each weight machine and could not stop. Needless to say, she found a new medicine the next day.

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  35. Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Sorry, John.
    Blogger is being a brat and I needed a laugh.
    *hugs* ♥

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  36. That same pose in yoga is called the "breaking wind pose". Try a whole class of middle aged and older yogi's giving it a go...no worries about being embarrassed in a cacaughony of trumpeting.

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  37. One of the hazards of aging ... some day that nine year old physiotherapist will have the pleasure too ...

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  38. Oh. My.

    While at a dinner party, a man farts. The other man says “How dare you fart in front of my wife”. The first man says “Sorry, I didn’t realize it was her turn”.

    Hey ho!

    Hope you feel better soon, I've had that sciatic pain and it's horrible.

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  39. Urk. However, it could have been worse. One of our newsreaders told the sad story of going to an exercise class - and having a laxative work unexpectedly quickly. A fart? A mere nothing.

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  40. God you missed out on a good post heading there didn't you!! Much too normal a heading (for you anyway). Well if you had used the one that's flashing round in my head you might have had your computer consficated and then where would we be :-)

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  41. Oh I'd imagined the physio was a nine year old boy giggling hysterically as nine year old boys do !

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  42. She's probably entertaining her physio friends with the story at the pub tonight!!! Jokes aside physio is the only way Togo. Do the exercises and EVENTUALLY the pain will go away.

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  43. Sorry need to return to a straight face... ... ... ...

    Ok - honestly I bet she never noticed...

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  44. Well... I doubt your shame - you wouldn't announce it otherwise :-)
    And: What should the poor girl do? I mean: What did you say? She must have replied to 'Sorry' - but when you didn't say anything - as I assume - maybe she thought: best to pretend I haven't noticed - equivalent to English 'stiff upper nose'.

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  45. Stiff Upper nose.....
    That's a new one.....
    NoBrigitta.. Believe me
    I was very embarrassed

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  46. A nine year old physio?! There's a story here we should be told.

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  47. The world swallowed me whole....best way to describe it. Just had my yearly, and I feel that way too.

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  48. Many years ago, I suffered an injury that required physio to the lower back. First to treat me was a young Aussie guy, but he asked an older female colleague to take over as it seemed that a mobile phone in his trouser pocket, or something of that nature, was getting in the way.

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  49. Thanks for the belly laugh. I'm sorry you had it happen to you but your post and the ensuing comments have had me laughing for the last 15 minutes.

    I would have been very embarrassed as well and may have ended up laughing all the same.

    Courage!

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  50. LOL. We all get windy as we get older!!

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  51. I would have giggled and been like "It's okay honey" if I was her. You know damn well she told people all about your stinky ass later on. LOL

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  52. It's a funny old world. An accidental fart and everyone wants to say something about it. If your post had been about climate change or global poverty, on the other hand....

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    1. yes, yes, we all geddit...we're all going to hell on a handcart...we know that....meanwhile, we take our pleasure where we find it...jeez nick....lighten up!

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    2. Sometimes nick...you just gotta laugh at a cheap farting story

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  53. wow look at all those comments...interesting!

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  54. Acutally LOLLED while reading this.

    Wish mine were whispers - more like full on stinking all out assault farts...

    My poor husband :)

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