Oh Dear

just a quick postscript to my previous post.....
And a reply to the rather abusive post entry from a certain RED NINJA who apparently joined Blogger today just to call me ( and I quote) a "homophobic abusive excuse of an arsehole"
Now the " arsehole" description I will accept in part.....( it had taken nearly 51 years fully develop my acid, razor sharp wit) but .........homophobic.....I am afraid , I shall not accept.....
I suspect Red Ninja (?) hasn't quite cottoned on to my unhealthy obsessions with a certain Russell Crowe and the zombie killing red neck, Daryl Dixon........(The Walking Dead)
Perhaps she was blinded by my use of the inflammatory stereotype of lesbians being handy with screwdrivers......hey ho.......who knows.....
You just can't keep everyone happy....
So.....Red Ninja...if you are reading this
Eat shit and die
Xx
Daryl Dixon kills Ninjas

87 comments:

  1. What kind of an asshat handle is Red Ninja? I got a bit of abuse from Anon when I posted a picture of a freshly skinned rabbit. It was months before I noticed it.

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  2. Red Ninja - if you are in any way offended by John's blog, just beggar off and find a comfy, pastel, flowery, safe and somewhat boring one.
    Leave John in our safe hands - we love him to bits, with all his faults! (Maybe because we all have faults as well, unlike you.)
    Bye bye, dear.

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  3. block the rouge ninja bitch. some people just don't get it. we luvs you just the way you are!!!

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    Replies
    1. Will do if they call back....all I did was delete them

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  4. Faults! FAULTS?F A U L T S!!
    Bollocks
    Xx

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  5. Replies
    1. Oh dear indeed...... I suspect Ninja was American because on reflection I think they called me an ASSHOLE not the more English version of ARSEHOLE

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    2. Good God, I do hope they're not Canadian!!!
      Jane x

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  6. Fight fight fight fight fight fight !!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxx (PS how do you know it was a she?)xx

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    1. I am not sure Diane.... A guess.........I wish I had not deleted the post now.... This makes for a more interesting post

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  7. Well, this lesbian loves John the Dogs!

    If I have to track down this Red Ninja and defend our John, I WILL! Screwdriver in hand!

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  8. Tell her to go stick her opinion up her poo pipe
    xx

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  9. Really? A lesbian calls you homophobic for making a mild joke about tools? What a wench!

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    1. Oh I am not certain ninja was a lesbian...was she? Is she? Now I am confused

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  10. I can't find the post you mentioned? I wanted to reply to it with something suitably withering...

    Don't feed the trolls, John...!

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    1. I deleted the entry..wish I had not now

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    2. Ah well - your perogative my dear!

      Sounds like it was best deleted, anyhow! Nasty stuff...how anyone could think you were homophobic is beyond me...they obviously have not read your blog.
      xxx

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  11. God! You're GORGEOUS when you're angry..... ;-)

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  12. Shirley's use of the term "poo pipe" just caused me to shriek with laughter, and spit Chardonnay all over my keyboard. "Boy", my Bedlington terrier, who had been snoring companionably on the bed to my right, jumped up in surprise and has now retreated to the bedside rug in a huff. For myself, I earnestly desire that your critic's earholes turn into arseholes and shit all over her shoulders. Nos da cariad x

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  13. The Engineer and I coached creative problem solving teams. The kids designed and built their own contraptions. We could teach them how to run a sewing machine or to weld and be there for safety but not allowed to do any work. One of my favorite moments was watching a 13 year old girl welding one winter afternoon wearing my grandmother's old muskrat fur coat for the cold and the glamour of it all.

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    1. hahaha thats what I thought John lol

      Jo in NZ

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  14. Your army will defend you John till the end!! Where is she?!

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  15. Homophobic? I don't think so. If someone doesn't like a blog, then that person should just go do something else.

    Love,
    Janie

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  16. Both my lesbian wife and I are quite handy with screwdrivers, and have many fond memories of our times at the DIY stores. Also, she is a bit obsessed with Sigourney Weaver.

    In conclusion, Red Ninja sounds like a class A troll. And, I'm willing to bet, looks nothing like a ninja.

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    Replies
    1. I was waiting for your comment Alison xxxx
      Thanks sweetie

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  17. Been a follower for a while now John but have not commented before. When I got to the bit about you being homophobic the keyboard wore the coffee! I think this is one of the funniest posts ever!

    Cheers Karen.

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    1. Welcome to the mad house x

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    2. My sentiments exactly, tylasnan. I, too, am a follower, but not a commenter, until now. John Gray, I adore your blog.
      ~Melinda from Texas (aka MfT)

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  18. I can I assume that you and "Red Ninja" wont be exchanging Christmas cards....Whenever I go back to Canada, I'm often called an "Asshat" :)

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    1. I am going to use asshat everyday from now on!

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  19. One of my favorite rejoinders, John. I have to watch my mouth around the children and forgot I used to yell that out of my car window at trolls and other a-holes, as I must call them now.

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  20. I find my North American friends tend to equate my English accent with being refined. Perhaps its my frocks, floral tablecloths and Earl Grey tea. I adore your blog, often laugh out loud, sometimes I find it a little raw, but always leave feeling it was time well spent. Life would be extremely dull without a little spice.

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  21. Anonymous12:59 am

    You tell her John. He/she or it has got a goodly percentage of the blogging community up in arms when she attacks a sweet gentle soul like yourself.

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  22. Anonymous1:06 am

    Not so fond of Crowe, but Dixon looks rather good.

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  23. I like arsehole better...it sounds more friendly somehow.... :)

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    Replies
    1. The vicar could say it without blushing

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  24. Anonymous1:37 am

    Well defended, John! There are too many assholes.

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  25. John, there are some real creeps out there. When I blogged about the fun Easter egg hunt we did with horses, I got an animal abuse comment that I immediately deleted. It was so ignorant I wasn't even insulted.

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  26. Well, that was pleasant. Does Chris know you are homophobic? I have since developed a dear crush on Ryan Gosling. Must be a fowl thing.

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  27. Hahahahaha. Makes for a good laugh, John. This person seriously can NOT have read your blog!
    *hugs* ♥

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  28. Pbbbbt. Some people have no sense of humor.

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  29. Pity she/he didn't leave an address, you could have sent the shit though the post.

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  30. Red Ninja is such a sad excuse for humanity. Hiss and spit.

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  31. John Grey I like your style, you've gained a fan! Don't let those ninja bastards, particularly the red ones, grind you down. Julia

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  32. Didn't red ninja know you are the most articulate gay in the village we know. Homophobic indeed....pah. I personally am loving that red ninja started this war of words with you - it's hilarious. Thankfully he/she/it has shrunk back into its teenage mutant ninja turtle shell with that come back, you acerbic tongued legend!! Love ya!!!

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  33. I don't understand humans sometimes.....some people just need to spread their 'joy' elsewhere x

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  34. I wonder if Red Ninja realises that your army of readers is lined up behind you, the lesbians with screwdrivers, and the straights with whatever came to hand as the call to arms sounded, unfortunately my weapon seems to be a cup of coffee, quick lets go get her before it gets cold!!

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  35. Calling a gay man homophobic? that's a first. Some people just don't get a joke.

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  36. "A man who never made enemies never made anything" as the old saying goes.

    P.S. Red Ninja? Red bull more like.

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  37. Hahaha another great post - I do wonder why these people bother. I love your blog John especially when you put trolls in their place!

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  38. I suspect she has some sort of filter to flag up all posts with the word Lesbian in and she probably didn't even read it and has since buggered off to spit venom elsewhere. Never mind, she gave us all a laugh.
    You have a loyal lesbian following and we're all proud of you.

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  39. Ha Ha Ha Eat Shit and Die " or read John's Blog properly to see how lovely he is )

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  40. Calling Red Ninja! Calling Red Ninja! The E.G.D.F (Earl Gray Defence Force) are coming to get you! Get yourself an Alsatian guard dog and a revolver - but it won't make any difference. Nobody slights or insults the noble Earl of Trelawnyd and gets away with it. Be afraid. Be very afraid!
    Field Marshal Pudding (EGDF Commander)

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  41. So you're afraid of yourself? Or really hate Chris?

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  42. The internet has made people like Red Ninja forget that if you haven't got anything nice to say, say nothing at all. Round up the posse for a lynching...

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  43. Anonymous9:40 am

    Killing two of your posts with one of my comments:

    John, despair is mine. I once bought a DIY book. Its title: "One hundred things a woman doesn't need a man for." And I am not even a Lesbian. In fact I am so not lesbian Lesbians refuse to give me the time of day. Particularly the butch ones.

    Whether this book stretches to chicken coops and how make mock ninja turtle soup I can't remember. All I know is that I have been trying to sell it (on 'preloved') and no one wants it. One could draw many a conclusion about the market place. I shall leave that to you and your readers.

    As to screwdrivers: My first inclination was to write back: "Have drive. Will screw." On second thought more suitable for Hippo's comment box.

    U

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  44. Don't know whether to laugh or cry!! Homophobic??!! Toi? This idiot has never learned to read! Glad you banished them and their utterly sad comments to the bin!
    Your blog is a always a great read :-)

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  45. Tough day and its ended in a good laugh thanks to you.

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  46. Well, well, not only did you not get my humour but now the 'colonists' get dissed again. Hey dudes, even though you bash poor defenseless chicks to death but now you dis us. Well, whatever, we still love you and your blog on this side of OUR pond. Keep rollin' along.

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    Replies
    1. And I thought you weren't speaking to be after the Bogbrush incident

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    2. I'll always add my two cents my fellow blogger. You are awesome (except when I can't read your blog to my students)

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  47. Unbelievable.

    I laughed when i read that Red Ninja thought you were homophobic, and i laughed more when i read some of the comments. I love the term "poo pipe."

    I'm not mechanically inclined, much to my regret, but i can wield a hockey stick and of course, live in the land where one can purchase an AR-15 should the need arise. Just sayin'

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  48. Red Ninja is probably searching the internet for places to spew venom, found your post and without bothering to read more than a few lines decided you had a bulls eye on your back. I find it hilarious that she thinks your homophobic, really??? John???? Homophobic?????? Isn't that self discrimination? bahahaha

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  49. Thank you all for your comments apologies if I have not answered each of you.... I have been strimming the field today.........
    I do hope Mz ninja turns up again.... It seems she has started something xxxx

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  50. I'm EXTREMELY handy with a screwdriver too; what a very silly commenter if not a follower? I'm off to read the comment now - you're so prolific, I don't always have time to read everything. My favourite blog John and many others' too. x

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  51. What you need to do is surround yourself with three goats; fire up your pc and shout very loudly at it 'Begone foul troll - get thee to a stone bridge'. Guaranteed to make you feel better and probably attract a supportive audience.

    Seriously what a plonker. Have we really not got past catagorising people by who they shag; rather than by their compassion, their positive impact on the communitiesthey live in and the quality of their blogs, Still loving you John xx

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  52. Homophobic... hmmm ... I mean you don't even have to read between the lines do you?

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  53. You've got to laugh really, haven't you?

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  54. Anonymous2:26 am

    geez I'm gone for a day and all h*ll breaks loose!

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  55. John, not every post is a gem (sorry), but there are enough zingers to make me come back day after to day to enjoy your life vicariously. This post was one of those zingers. Thanks for spending the time to share with us.

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes