Friday, 17 May 2013

I am the Object of Bingley's affection

All the males on the field are in a state of testosterone overload
The hysterical runner drakes, Eric the bad tempered Cockerel and even Bingley the turkey are all
" at it" like bleeding Russell Brand in a strip joint
I sit down for a few moments on the field to.pick out a few things for my birthday list
( June 1st BTW)
And I am sexually harassed by the biggest bird on the block

43 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I don't think so...... He doesn't know what " to do" so to speak

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  2. My goodness he's got himself all puffed up over you hasn't he?

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  3. does this make chris jealous?

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    Replies
    1. If he had a bigger penis he would

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  4. I love it that his name is Bingley. He looks pretty big.

    Love,
    Janie

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  5. ..all it needs is the Barry White track playing in the background, you temptress you!! :)

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  6. He had two sisters called lizzi and Jane

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  7. I needed a chuckle, John, thank you!

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    Replies
    1. Chin up old gal...how's the face?

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    2. Still swollen, not quite as sore though. Thank you.

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  8. Here we hear the wild "Bingleys". There are a couple of flocks of wild turkeys in the area. Early in the morning, the males are very noisy when strutting their stuff. As a rule, they do not come near the garden because there are too many shrubs and trees (where sometime a fox or a coyote will ambush one).
    We often see them in the fields - they are leaner than your Bingley - a more stressful life accounts for it no doubt.

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    1. Thanks for the comment
      Bingley is, as you know an American bourbon turkey....
      I should have named him after a true American rather than a Jane Austin hero

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  9. couldn't you just let bingley hump your leg and be happy?

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  10. I got humped by a dog once, couldn't get the little bastard off my leg. Looked like a friggin' dalmatian the next day with all my bruises :-/

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    Replies
    1. Are you oming to jack therpper night in trelawnyd tomorrow Hannah?

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    2. I'm afraid not, John. Adam's parents are having a Eurovision 'party' (don't laugh) ;-)

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  11. You are almost like the jungle boy, living with animals, 'loved' by animals...

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    Replies
    1. And adored by people KK lol

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    2. That part I just forgot.

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  12. "He doesn't look very turkey like, but I am so horny, I am past caring."

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  13. I suspect that testosterone has made him nearly as blind as old Cogburn.

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  14. Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
    Have a good weekend, John. :-)

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  15. You must have been giving him some, "vibes". lol

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  16. Poor Bingley! He's a handsome guy, but somewhat confused.

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  17. BTW thanks for reminding of your birth date :D Bingley was rather persistent, poor thing!!!

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  18. A turkey with good taste and one that tastes good too.

    Happy early Birthday.

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  19. The course of true lust never runs smoothly...

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  20. It must be annoying if you can only pull the big birds...

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  21. Why would any sensible bloke sit in the middle of a field to peruse the Pigeon Fanciers Christmas gift catalogue, in order to compile their birthday wish list? Surely the bog's the correct place. Plus after such a blatant plug for cards, gifts, choccies and flowers, you really do need a good slap. Bingley has obviously taken it on himself to deliver what you really, really want... and that is a good seeing to.

    John, come the 1st of June, a low loader will pull into your lane with a container-load of Scotch Eggs sent from admiring fans. And after eating so many, you will probably fart loudly and fly over the field like frigging Mary Poppins.

    LLX

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  22. He does seem to like those trainers - cue low lights, barry white and a meal deal for two!

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  23. I believe the term for a young female turkey is a jenny and as it grows older it becomes a hen. Bingley on the other hand is a tom. He clearly thinks you are a sexy young jenny - perhaps its your look on more likely your personal aroma. My advice would be to close your bedroom window at night. When aroused a tom will not rest till it gets what it wants.

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  24. Bingley's got a foot fetish, and you're provoking him in that video!

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  25. Ah, bird love. My bird Marco gets in the mood from time to time. There's nothing like a horny parrot trying to woo you...they will throw up their last meal onto your hand! It's their version of sharing a romantic meal. LOL

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  26. What's that you said at the end? 'Bugger off' or 'Carry on'?
    Els

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  27. Bugger off ... Cheeky mare

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  28. You turkey magnet you.

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