Tuesday, 2 April 2013

O.D.R

I have become disorientated with yesterday's bank holiday and for some reason thought that today was Monday. It isn't of course, a fact that has thrown chez Trelawnyd into a bit of a disarray for today is in fact, the day that my mother-in -law arrives.
.....and as Terry Wogan always said......" there's not a child in the house washed"

Dog snot on windows........harder to remove than concrete
Regular readers of Going Gently will know that Operation Dog- Snot Removal (O.D.R) is about to begin. 
This event usually comprises of a few hours of slightly hysterical scrubbing, buffing and dusting, accompanied with moments of bad temper, yelled phrases of " DON'T WALK ON THE FU*KING....FLOOR I'VE JUST MOPPED IT!" and of course  periods of excitable weeping

It's a well walked road which most children-in-law in this world will recognise.
Being prepared and making the effort before a visit equates to being respectful.
It may be old fashioned
But it is as ingrained in me, as deeply as childhood memories.

Luckily I have already made a cake, so I only have 100 things to do..........
I must be quick though, I have got to lather Eric's arse with antibacterial spray before the kitchen gets bleached............and I have just spied a substantial mound of cat puke behind the toilet...............

56 comments:

  1. John...speaking of Bleach...please do be careful and think before you sit.

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    1. and before the MIL sits..

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  2. I find e-cloths very good for dog snot removal....

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  3. Oh my - that used to be me before some of our parties (we used to give at least 2 'normous ones per year). Now, thank the Good Lord we don't have visitors or give parties. I sound miserable but am in fact just deeply relieved.

    White vinegar is marvellous for dog snot.

    Good luck with the visit.
    Susan x

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  4. I use window cleaner with vinegar in it to remove dog snot from the van (plastic) and car windows.
    Have a marvellous visit - I'd sympathise but my OH's family don't acknowledge our existance much less visit :oD

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  5. Hope the MIL's visit goes well. Your post has given me the ooomph I needed to clan my car windows. Just think, I have a hound with a big nose. Enough said.

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  6. Damn typing, I mean't clean my car windows. Sheesh!

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  7. Just put 60 watt bulbs in all the rooms and it'll be too dim to see all the nasty messes....

    I'm just the same. I have to make the house presentable before anyone visits. Even if they're only coming in for half an hour for a cup of coffee. Too much squalor is just too shameful.

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  8. I'm like you too. It's been hard keeping a clean and tidy house when we have nurses coming all the time to check on my husband. But I do get more cleaning done in the 10 minutes prior to someone coming than I do all week when no one is. Good luck getting through that "to-do" list!

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  9. Hope the visit goes well, and thank you. x

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  10. I'm still trying to undo 10 years of 'chuck it in the cupboard because someone's coming'...

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    1. It's when the visitors are gone and you can't find sweet FA. Or you get giddy with how tidy everything is until you open the cupboards and it all falls out.

      I have had to stop wearing my glasses indoors as my eyesight has changed with age and now I can't see the dirt. which is a Good Thing.

      Although the morning sun is beautiful here it highlights the hideous dust and grime in the room. bugger.
      x

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  11. Good luck with the snot cleaning and cat puke clearing ... ;0)

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  12. The last few times my MIL came to visit her eye sight was failing badly. When I humbly apologized for a bit of cleaning oversight she said cheerily, "Looks fine to me". Dear old soul.

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  13. Oh yes, sounds familiar. Do reward yourself with a Scotch Egg after. Have fun!

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  14. Remember, if asked about the dirty windows...you are keeping them dirty to prevent birds from flying into the windows. That should earn you a few points.
    Jane x

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    1. What a great idea!!!

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  15. John, you're a fine SIL. Relax, drink more wine, give the MIL some sunglasses to wear while inside.

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  16. Seemed to have last 4 comments somewhere!

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  17. Every now and then I am reminded why it was worth upping sticks and moving to a place like Angola. Apart from my brother, no other family member visits and little Alex can put his sandy feet up on the table and spill his milk on the sofa.

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  18. Ah yes, home sweet home!

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  19. John dear I believe you're a tad hysterical...or is that me ROFLMAO :D

    I was doing OK till the cat spew behind the LOO...if I remember from last time your MIL is a very nice lady, who would perhaps forgive a few lapses...but do your best and I'm sure it will all go well :)

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  20. This reminded me of the time I did a serious clean before the arrival of my in-laws and I accidently threw a toothbrush in the toilet. I had been scrubbing around the base of the toilet with an old toothbrush, threw it in the dirty water bucket and forgot about it. When it was dumped down the loo and flushed it wedged itself halfway down, and caused no end of trouble for the week of their visit. Dear husband had to take the whole toilet off to discover the problem-was my face red.
    Good luck with the cleaning!
    Barb

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  21. I'm left with two questions--where is Chris in the midst of all this hysterical house-husbandry? And does MIL read the blog? I'm hoping not, for how could she help but peek behind the toilet and examine closely the state of the washboard?

    If she insists on treating you out for every meal, be assured the jig is up!

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  22. thank god you spied the cat puke before the MIL!

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  23. Have a good stiff drink and resume cleaning......

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  24. it's one of the delightful things that are inbred into the British we must make sure the house is spick and span before visitors arrive. Then when they do arrive we are so tired we never enjoy their visit.......

    Thank you Mother!!

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  25. I am doing the same...family arriving tonight on a midnight flight from the UK...must also be awake enough to get to the airport and back (1 1/2 hours each way...).The puppy just peed on the living room carpet...and there is yet more mud on the floor. If I came to you, you would not have to clean...also unwashed eggs sitting in the kitchen...best of luck!t

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  26. I love Gill's comment. I do the same but not as hard as it was in the past -- we have R2D2 our robotic vacuum cleaner. Now we spend our time watching "him."

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  27. Time for Albert's little presents to be gotten :)
    ~Jo

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  28. I live in Tucson, the house is always dusty it is a way of life here !
    And for the dog snot, get a peal and stick frame and then tell everyone it is Georges newest installation !

    Loved the photo of George ! With Watson slight dementia and anxiety I have the mobile groomers come to the house. They do a nice cut but not the fabulous Scottie cut I love and miss seeing. But it is much better for The Boys.

    cheers, parsnip

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  29. Ply her with booze and keep the lights dim....she won't see and won't care...enjoy the visit.

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  30. Now just settle down and have a lovely visit.

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  31. Well, life is never dull at your house.

    Have you ever tried to pry a dried out Fruit Loop cereal, flung on the wall by a 3 yr. old? It is much like dog snot.

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  32. A Really Good MIL wouldn't pay any mind to the state of your house (assuming there are no major health issues waiting to happen). She will be only too happy to be in the company of her son and son-in-law. Only dull women/men have immaculate homes.;-)

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  33. I'm a bit late John but.. "Everyday is like Sunday." Mr Morrissey's perfect apt song for yesterdays post.

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  34. Thanks for all the comments....
    M I L 's ETA is approx 10 minutes
    Not a drop of dogs notion sight!

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  35. Phew! You made it! have a wonderful visit with your MIL!

    I, too, clean frenetically before guests arrive. I.just.must.

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  36. I wouldn't worry about not knowing what day it was. Last Thursday, Howard was convinced it was Friday and someone had nicked our milk delivery. He also managed to leave the house keys in the hire van when he returned it this morning.

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  37. One of our house guests once found a pile of cat sick under the dressing table in the guest room. The really embarrassing bit is that the cat had died quite some years before.
    I hope that your MIL's visit is a joy for everyone, for then it's all worth it.

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  38. By now your lovely MIL has arrived, failed to notice anything amiss, and probably complimented you on a lovely, well-kept cottage. And Albert has probably discovered that you removed his perfectly placed offering and will promptly deposit a new pile right in front of Chris' Mom. Cats do like to control things. I wish all of you a very relaxed and happy visit.

    Nancy in Iowa

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  39. I hear you. I have been there. Shortly before the skinny one's next round of surgery I will start a mammoth house clean because his sister will come down to stay. And as fast as I remove the snot and the puke it will be replaced - with interest. I hope the visit goes (went) well and that no-one bleached their behind.

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  40. Totally off subject - it's all your fault that I am currently glued to channel 5* watching series 2 of Walking Dead. After 3 years in a motorhome with no TV I haven't got a fart in hells clue what it's all about but because you rave about it so delightfully I am going to watch the 2 episodes tonight. You may have to fill me in on what the heck it's all about - apart from Zombies, that much I have deduced :o)

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    1. My next post s just for you

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  41. Who the hell is Eric? And why are you lathering his arse?

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    1. He's my next door neighbour

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    2. I love your village! So chummy!

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  42. Oh those were the days, my friend!

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  43. Ahh..the joys of pets, MILs & not nearly enough time to accomplish what you wanted to before all Hell breaks loose in one form or another. Your MIL is fortunate to have a SIL who gives a damn about anything - especially cat puke & snot. Have a plesant visit.

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    1. Hello Ellen....
      Thank you for popping in x

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  44. I compulsively clean before company too, and cook something nice.
    Hope the visit goes well. Enjoy.

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  45. We spent all day yesterday thinking it was Saturday...

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  46. Baking a cake and removing dog snot in the same post. Blech!

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  47. First time reader here. Great blog. I look forward to exploring.

    The dogs are such cuties!

    Off the wall question (apologies in advance, I fear it is a dumb one) but Who is Terry Wogan? I am fan of Fascinating Aida. In their song "Taboo" one of the examples (of things that are taboo) listed is "Meeting Terry Wogan and saying; Terry who?".

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