Sunday, 7 April 2013

A Toy Boy Down The Lane


The ducks have been playing up 
Led by the three drakes, Halleh, and the new boys Bert & Ernie, all eight have been disappearing through the snow damaged fencing to wander across the horse livery pastures and down into the lane.
A rather bedraggled middle aged woman knocked on the cottage window at lunchtime, just as I was settling down with a coffee and Just A Minute, and told me that they were out on the road.
She informed me that " her David" was stood guarding them and asked if I could sort them out.
We wandered down the lane and after thanking David who was a dishy looking twenty something and still holding my mug of coffee in my hand, I yelled at the ducks to get their arses back in the field.
Ducks may be thick as mince,
But when they are bollocked, they tend to return to places they know and love.
So as the ducks panicked, ran in a few circles before galloping  home, I turned to the woman and said
"Thank you.... It was lucky that you and your son was about"
The scruffy looking  woman pursed her lips slightly
" He's not my son, he's my husband"
She said with a slight hardness in her voice.
And neither of them reacted at all
When I said with an embarrassed and slightly camp 
"Oohhh............lucky you!"

Bert and Ernie ( their feathers already back to a cracking condition) are 4th and 2nd from the right

59 comments:

  1. OMG that is funny. Having been mistaken as my husbands mother while in Florida, I had a very bad reaction I must say.

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    1. What was your response chania?

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  2. Well that's just too damned funny. Poor lady.

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  3. There is twenty one years age difference between me and Lester, but no one has ever called me his Mum, which I think is quite strange, but they do look goggle eyed when I tell them how old he is! As for ducks, our one and only drake has decided he is a goose and has teamed up with a female goose, and acts exactly the same as the two other male geese do with their females. Shame he can't quite manage to fertilise her eggs though. He tries, but most times he falls off her back in a heap.

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  4. Oh what a good midday pick up!!! ;)

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  5. So the cougar left her pup gaurding your geese. That's hilarious.

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  6. Hilarious!! Can picture it now! That poor woman....I can relate as once a store clerk mistook me as Ron's father!!! (only a year and a half difference in age)It took the remainder of the day to recover!!

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    1. Another embarrassing gaff

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  7. Imagine having a dish walking down your road passed your window ~~~ if the ducks hadn't managed to escape none of this would have transpired.

    Still super hilarious though!

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  8. I'm taken for Lady M's son all the time (in my dreams!)

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    Replies
    1. If you said you had lady M must have looked ice methuselah

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  9. Mybabyjohn nailed it. Funny!

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  10. Takes all sorts, glad you got your birds back though.

    Gill

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  11. She's obviously rich.
    Jane x

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  12. Rent... you might be in with a shot.

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  13. Working in pubs in my youth, I quickly learned to err on the side of caution in these situations. I'd have made her day by saying 'how lucky you and your dad were about' ;-)

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  14. so funny!... sneak a photo of them too!

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  15. Thought I'd better qualify my calling you a tart... Bakewell... obviously!

    Seriously I just loved it.

    LLX

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    Replies
    1. I am happy with tart.......makes,e feel more interesting x

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  16. way to go middle aged female person with the "eye candy" Toy Boy!

    John are you sure you didn't shoo those poor ducks out in the lane?

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  17. A great laugh for me this morning!

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  18. Got his phone number, pass it on please?

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  19. Thank goodness you had camp to fall back on. Now she can add to her indignation by assuming you were ogling "her David." Which you were, so it's all squared up, then.

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  20. Love it! Next time ask if you can take a picture and explain you're going to blog about them.
    And I also love the expression 'bollocking ducks'

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    Replies
    1. Ducks HATE it when you shout at them

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  21. Hilarious John, has made my day!
    Jo xx

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  22. There are cougars in Trelawnyd!

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    Replies
    1. More than you can shake a. Stick at

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  23. I love the fact you moseyed down the lane coffee in hand, yelled and the ducks hightailed back home.

    cheers, parsnip

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  24. Oops! Too funny.

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  25. I see ducks running loose more often in the near future :)
    ~Jo

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  26. She's not a follower, eh?

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  27. Bet her hubs was chuffed tough

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  28. Dammit meant to type 'though' not 'tough'

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  29. Replies
    1. Predatory Older Female with a penchant for younger men.

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  30. This bedraggled middle aged woman just wishes she still had the energy..

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  31. Good for her, it probably keeps the men of the village guessing. And the women wishing they were her.....

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  32. I went all red and flushed with embarrassment for you as I read this! x

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    Replies
    1. Em.
      I blush terribly....it's one of my weaknesses

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  33. What a chuckle I'm having at the end of my day, John. Is that lady not a local, and a follower of your blog, do you think? Just wondered! LOL. She must be rich. (Sez-me who's past middle-aged!) Have a great week. Jo

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    1. She wasn't rich looking. Mind you, rich people never look rich do they?

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  34. That cartoon is truly laugh-out-loud funny

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  35. Eeep. Perhaps she was his age but had had a hard life.

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  36. That happens to me all the time. I have booked my Husband in for some grey highlights.

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  37. You drakes have some penned-up energy? Or perhaps they're just escapists by nature?

    Thanks for coming by my place!

    Blessings and Bear hugs!
    Bears Noting

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  38. You'd have that same conversation with me and my Mr. John . ;)

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    Replies
    1. But 14 years credit to our May/September union, so not a passing phase I suppose . Rich ...hmm~ I'm only rich in humor and horse manure.

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  39. Haha. Great post, great photo. Your ducks look good, John. Hope you all have a wonderful week. ♥

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  40. Oops. Glad that they kept the ducks safe though.

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  41. LOL did he come back to check on the ducks...or to escape?

    Safe haven for ducks and duckboys...LOL

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  42. It seems you cannot walk down the road without encountering a social blunder. Good job!

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  43. I married a may 11 yrs. my junior, but nobody ever guesses that. lol

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  44. Hahahaha that was hilarious John. I love reading your tales when I come home from work knackered. Gives me a lift no end. Love ducks, I stopped to let 6 cross the road this morning, they took ages but hey I was only 5 minutes late! Maybe I should have got out and bollocked them lol they may have moved faster. Must try that sometime

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