Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Calamity


The casualties, when I got them home
I dropped Chris off to catch the London train before 8am. He is working there most of the week and won't be back until Sunday. This gives me four days to totally spring clean the cottage. Winter use of a wood burning stove means that surfaces everywhere are in desperate need of a damp cloth and a bit of elbow grease.
Such is the "downside" of a real fire.
Now people that actually have to carry out the mundane and satisfying job of "clearing the decks" will tell you that you have to reward yourself with a little treat as you buff and scrub. for many the treat  is chocolate.....for me.....it is a crisp and well constructed scotch egg....and so after I had dropped the Boffin off..I drove around to Prestatyn's new Tesco and bought myself two.
I also bought an armful of cat food ( Albert will only eat gravy covered chunks) bread, milk, dog food , fruit, bleach and yogurt and not wanting to pay the extra 5 p for a carrier bag I juggled my purchases in my arms until I got to the car.
I won't explain all this wonderfully interesting routine any more, suffice to say, that , as I drove around the mini roundabout outside the supermarket, the scotch eggs and four weightwatchers citrus yogurts shot off the roof of the Berlingo and bounced across the road.
I couldn't give a stuff about the yogurts but the sight of scotch eggs careering out of sight chilled my very soul and blocking the traffic , I jumped out to retrieve what was left of them.
A casual observer could have been forgiven for thinking I had run over a cat or something, such was my horrified reaction to " the accident" but I was lucky
The plastic packaging that covers every bloody thing we buy nowadays had protected the eggs adequately enough
This obsession is getting out of hand

82 comments:

  1. I dd something similar with my wallet once....only realized I had left in on the roof of the car when I saw it bounce on the busy road behind me! Scotch eggs though....that's bad. Happy vernal equinox! Don't work your elbows too hard.

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  2. Ah, the old 'leaving stuff on the roof' ploy! Never fails to amuse. Passers by that is.

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  3. We can all laugh at this as most of us have also left a package on the roof a time or two - or maybe three.

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  4. Mmm...Those eggs look good!

    Once I went to open the car door and the takeout pizza I had in my arms slid right out of the box onto the road. Crust side down fortunately. I slid it back in and once home dusted off any debris that might have clung.

    When you're a young kid and flat broke pizza with a smudge of asphalt tastes pretty good!

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  5. I once did the same with a nice box of freshly laid eggs from a farmer friend. Not pretty and much swearing. I feel for your loss John...perhaps not the yogurts though. Not a fan of the citrus variety....or the low fat variety come to that!

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  6. And that's what re-usable bags are for...

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  7. I did that once....or twice....or three times.
    But what is a scotch egg? It looks interesting

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    1. You will have to google them......they are truly nectar of the gods

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  8. LOL when we were little and dropped food, my Mum used to say "leave it for the birdies" :-D
    I found myself saying that to my own son and now he is 23 I say it to the dogs!

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  9. Encased in plastic...the odd crack or two here or there...picked up almost immediately...surely you know that it is important to maintain regular exposure to germs to maintain a strong immune system? I hope you ate them!

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  10. oh John! Keep string bags in the car!

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  11. Scotch egg obsession sounds perfectly reasonable to me, John. I am more concerned about your dangerous addiction to bleach. Someone needs to let Chris know you're back at it again before someone (or some-bum) gets hurt.

    Also, I'm not sure what a "Boffin" is...must add that to my list of John-isms.

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    1. Hi Alison, Boffin is British slang for a scientist, or engineer.
      We have a language all of our own this side of the pond :-D
      I popped over to your blog to meet you properly- I adore your dog!

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    2. Thank you Kath, for explaining this to across the pond people. I thought it was just a made up word of Johns.
      My family makes up words all the time and when we (ME) use them outside of home......

      cheers, parsnip

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    3. I think it sums Chris up wonderfully x

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  12. Scotch eggs and Weight Watchers yoghurts... obviously a balanced diet.
    Jane x

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  13. I've never heard tell of Scotch eggs....interesting.
    I've never heard tell of Boffin either, but I see from your comment above what it is...which is better than what I was imagining!
    Cindy Bee

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    1. You have never heard of a scotch egg?
      Where are you mars?

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  14. Oh John...not the eggs....noooooo.

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  15. Only two?
    Things are looking up.

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  16. I don't like upstaging you, John, particularly not after your last dip in fortunes. However, I did one better. 25 years ago, Milton Keynes, yes, the pioneer of roundabouts, layout of streets in perfect grids and sculpted cows (pre Damien Hurst). Just to be on the safe side I carefully placed a carton of six eggs on the roof of my car whilst stashing away the rest of my shopping in the boot.

    For the next few minutes oncoming traffic and the guy behind me flashed their lights, pointing in my direction. At what? What have I done now? Then it came to me. Oh, yes. I stopped, and no there was no pile up since I had presence of mind to pull over first. And what do you know, despite or maybe because of that law of physics (centrifugal force otherwise known as inertia) those six eggs had a merry ride: 'Ova intacta'.

    U

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    1. Game set and match to Ursula x

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  17. You really need to start making your own Scotch eggs. Truly it is not that difficult. Farm fresh eggs from your hens would provide the perfect start. ;) And did I read that correctly you bought more bleach? Remember to rinse the seat this time. Hugs and good luck sitting.

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    1. They always taste better if you DON't make them yourself.... Those are the rules!

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  18. Battered scotch eggs?

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  19. The scrapes you get into with Scotch Eggs involved crack me up.
    These stories need to be compiled and made into a small book and sold at your open day.
    The tiles of said book are boggling, from the basic My Life as a Scotched Egg Addict to Scotched Eggs Feast or Famine ? to just start off.

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. Oh John...you've got to do this...and then hold a contest on your blog for titles. What fun.

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    2. I love your idea of a contest for a title. But with John's way with words I not sure we could beat it.

      cheers, parsnip

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    3. I just want to buy the book.

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    4. i just want to eat the scotch eggs... ;p

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    5. hahahahahahaha... me too but I will have to make them. No Scotched Eggs in the Wild Wild West !
      Only stuffed Jalapenos.

      cheers, parsnip

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    6. I actually have a recipe for Scotch Eggs..not sure how authentic it is but I've tried it and I like it. If anyone is interested I'll post it.

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    7. Angry pars
      Sounds like a bloody excellent idea x

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  20. Does your Tesco not provide the free flimsy carrier bags?

    There must be a thing about putting eggs on car roofs. Years ago my Mum used to have lots of hens and sold the eggs on trays. She was delivering five trays one day and put them on the car roof to open the door, drove 9 miles, and miraculously there was still one complete tray on the roof when she arrived at her destination!

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    1. Many shops in America have started to charge (thank goodness) for the awful flimsy bags that one sees blowing in the wind everywhere here.

      cheers, parsnip

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  21. Scrambled Scotch eggs?

    Many years ago, my MIL deigned to allow me for the first time to bring dessert to a family gettogether. I painstakingly made a beautiful lemon meringue pie in my best pie plate. Yup, you've guessed it. It went sailing over the hood of the car at the first stop sign we came to. I was devastated and sure that my MIL wouldn't believe that I had actually baked a pie and had let the menu down. She never asked me to bring dessert again. I was relegated to sliced bread and jars of pickles.

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  22. oh I must admit, I felt your horror at realizing how the scotch eggs were in the worst predicament (NOOOOOOO! NOT THE EGGS!!!!) - i myself would have thrown caution to the wind over them too - and i never even have eaten one!

    But treats are treats and they are called treats for a reason, and esp. when you are going to take on the herculean task of spring cleaning, you have to have them - my latest addiction is brie on rice crackers with a smidgen of red chili pepper jelly (i salivate as I write this)but then-

    but then maybe we should get us some tshirts that say "DO NOT REWARD YOURSELF WITH FOOD - YOU ARE NOT A DOG'...nah, theres a reason why some of our good friends are canines...(however Dexterdog is not into the red chili pepper jelly for some reason... too bad ;)

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  23. Ooh, what I would have given to have been the car driving behind you, and watching your gallant Scotch Eggs rescue, full marks on that one !
    And yes, I'd say you have an addiction :)
    ~Jo

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  24. This gives a whole new meaning to don't put all your eggs in one basket !

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  25. They are only going to taste even better now. I'd do the same for milk chocolate with almonds.

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  26. I keep a nice canvas bag in the car to take into the store. If I remember to look in the back seat for it, I find a grandchild has made it inaccessable with a toss into the trunk.

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    1. I always have them in the car..I was being lazy

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  27. Oh John, John, not the eggs! Like Joanne, this is why I always have a few canvas bags in the back of the car.

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  28. It's a good obsession - I love them too. I once left my wallet on the roof of the car, now that was a panic! I've made them a few times but they're fiddly and given how fast I can eat them, buying them pre made seems to make more sense!

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  29. I had a Scotch egg many years ago at the local Renaissance Fair. It was wonderful! Now every time you mention Scotch eggs I get a real yen for one. Darn you anyway!

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  30. I believe that technically makes them road kill John!

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  31. Here in Maine, USA and ignorant of scotch eggs I had to google them after the first mention of them. Thank you they are now a favorite of my family, I too would go to great length to rescue them.

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  32. I'd say! Next time bring your own packing bag.....keep them in the car. Just a suggestion....don't want to spoil any more of those fancy looking egg things!

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  33. Somehow weight watchers yoghourts and scotch eggs don't go in the same sentence John. Also it is the first time I have actually heard a word in praise of all that packaging. When I saw the photo I thought one of those lovely dogs had also got a taste for scotch eggs and had beaten you to it! I must say the taste for scotch eggs must be catching via the internet - I too adore them and have them at least once a week.

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    1. You are a magnificent woman of taste pat

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  34. Thank you all for your " things on top of. The car" stories
    Am loving the fact that so many here can be as absent minded and brain dead as me
    Xxxx

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  35. Well it wasn't food but a tin of left over paint my friend was taking to her school. Her husband saw from the window above that she was driving off with the tin still on the roof of the car. He told us he didn't need to phone her later to find out what happened because as he drove the very same route a little later saw the first roundabout splattered with paint that matched his living room.

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  36. You have such strange ways in Wales. Here, we carry the groceries INSIDE the car.

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  37. Even if those eggs had not been in plastic I would have been out there eating the remains all the while yelling "five second rule".

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    1. Doc, you area,an after my own. Heart x

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  38. Most certainly I would have scooted after Scottish eggs I didn't know they came prepared in stores ~ mums always makes them from scratch ~spoiled I am.

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  39. Nick and I once nipped to Safeway for a few bits and pieces for a family do and went two up on his motorcycle because it was quicker. He bungied a frozen raspberry pavlova onto the rack, ever so gently, so that it didn't get damaged. It fell off at the first roundabout.
    A few passing vehicles managed to avoid it so we rescued it and glued it back together with double cream and nobody noticed !!

    I have made scotch eggs in the past, several times, and it's not worth the faffing around. Bought ones are just as good - so long as you're not too picky about the provenance of the sausagemeat.

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  40. The comment I left appeared then seems to have disappeared again. How bizarre. I wonder if it will come back.

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    1. Jean
      Many of my blogs have disappeared
      Apologies on behalf of blogger.... They are messing me around big style

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    2. The one I left before came back but here goes again.......
      Nick and I once nipped to Safeway to fetch some bits and bobs for a family party and we went two up on his motorcycle because it was quicker. We bought a frozen raspberry pavlova (boxed) and he bungied it onto the rack ever so gently so as not to damage it. It fell off at the first roundabout.
      A few passing vehicles managed to avoid it so we rescued it and glued it back together with cream and nobody noticed.

      I have made scotch eggs in the past and IMHO it's not worth the faffing about. Bought ones are just as good and more instantly gratuitous, so long as you're not too picky about the provenance of the sausagemeat.

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    3. Jean.....the comment went into my spam folder

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  41. John, if I remember right, that's the 2nd time that's happened - glad they were edible

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    1. George stole a scotch egg e from the front seat moll.... And a few years ago I lost my shopping from the hatchback outside Sainsbury's
      Xxx well remembered

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  42. Send me your address John and those pink elephants are yours! ;)

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  43. I think we need Scotch Eggs here.

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    1. Pubs and Scottish/Irish restaurants will have them here. :). They are easy to make also. I'll bet that goats would eat them!

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  44. Did the eggs scream like the bunnies? Or was that you?

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    1. The screaming of the eggs

      The new favourite horror movie

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  45. I think they still look OK--did you eat them? A little chipotle sauce on them --perfect! Can you buy tabasco sauce with chipotle peppers?

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  46. somehow my sister did that with a watermelon on her roof...big luggage rack around all sides of a high suv roof many years ago...kept rolling around making noise but she forgot it was up there...took it to 2 repair shops before someone figured out what it was...

    as for me, I'd only pick up chocolate eggs from the road...those Scotch eggs look nasty!

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  47. so happy I arrived back in time for your Scotch Egg rescue :D here I've been wallowing in self-pity while being sick with some kind of "flu" most of the winter (or what passes for winter here) and imagine my delight at imagining you stopping your car, running across lanes of traffic, on a mission to secure your eggs!!! i'm trying to remember what I left on top of a car...sunglasses I believe...and something to do with my son years and years ago...and no it wasn't the poor wee laddie I left on top the car :D

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  48. My human has had similar experiences. These scotch eggs, are they some kind of eggs laced with booze. Would, no doubt, make for an interesting breakfast.

    My human has been to Prestatyn. Went to the indoor water themed place or whatever it's called and slid down a tube. Gosh!

    Pawsitive wishes,

    Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

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  49. This post has been so entertaining I had to come back and read all the comments and with with my car roof story.
    When I lived in Laguna Beach one of the roads to/from town was the Canyon Road. At the first stop/right turn on to El Toro road, you would see shoes, hats, towels, food, baskets bathing suits. The road was always busy so all the stuff would stay on the car roof till the stop or right hand turn. What a hoot !

    cheers, parsnip

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  50. I honestly think that you need counselling about your scotch egg obsession. It may have a Freudian undertones when you consider which part of the human anatomy (male) most closely resembles a pair of scotch eggs. Was it the boy scout leader?

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  51. I'm rather surprised you haven't invested in a Tesco's twin, Scotch egg, crash proof, Teflon, containerette.

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  52. You can get vegetarian ones, did you know?

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  53. This has had me laughing out loud. I would have done the same! I can't believe you had the temerity to wait until you got home and took a photo before noshing.

    they'd have been in my gob immediately after their rescue with crumbs too small even for George to consider worth sniffing.

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