" I'M ON THE TRAIN!"



Ok, I think most of you will know me  and my slightly dyspraxic ways by now
So the choice of a custard yellow pullover 
Perhaps was not the wisest of choices given my propensity for dribbling
But as you can see, with the judicious positioning of a trendy scarf , I am in fact,
blemish free so to speak...
I have , however lost all street cred with my executive businessman neighbour, for he has just given my IPad a quick once over as I was looking at Tom Stephenson's photo of a rude vegetable.....
Hey ho
My one attempt at looking urbane and sophisticated foiled by a carrot's vagina
Bollocks
X

30 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:26 pm

    You could pretend to look offended by the picture and quickly change screens lol.

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  2. You know what they say John, we are judged by the (blog) company we keep. Perhaps you and Ton could write your own screenplay, "The Carrot Monologues" and make a ton of money. Fresh local produce is very popular now you know. And the scarf? Dashing.

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  3. I am so disappointed I can't get to Tom's blog via his profile here. *pout*

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  4. vegetable porn - tragic.

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  5. I hope that was you,yelling down your mobile "I'M ON THE TRAIN!".

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  6. I read some of your older posts and saw you had a post about Aunt Gladys..She looks so sweet and what a lovely lady. So glad she is still active with the flower show.
    I really enjoy your post and to read about all your adventures.. I especially like all your pictures.. Especially the dogs..and your other animals...

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  7. Vagina bollocks? That's a new one on me....

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  8. LOL! Why does that ALWAYS happen!?

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  9. Ia it safe to use an iPad on a train? Doesn't the steam and the soot play havoc with the valves?

    p.s. Tsk tsk in re the way your scarf is tied, you ol' fashion victim you!

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  10. Gosh, a Sherlock knot!
    Jane x

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  11. Bless your (two-tone) whiskers! have a great time x

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  12. You could always tell him you're a farmer and looking at the latest in veg variants for your clientele.

    You look dashing.

    Have a lovely time with Nuala!

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  13. You DO look dashing. I like the facial fuzz.

    Has Nuala seen " the secret of roan inish"? There is a Selkie woman named Nuala.

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  14. Street cred? pah! who needs it...you look very cool.

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  15. Returned from London one time to Manchester, 7pm ish. A female person (using that description, you'll see why in a moment) got on the train. She was maybe in her late 20's, early 30's and had a mobile phone (this was early 2000's). The phone rang. Where have you got my number from? she demanded. Ah, magazine. And what service do you require? negotiating took part. She demanded a pen from the lady sitting opposite (who, when I got to Manchester I discovered was a friend of mine; a lovely business woman from my home town, wins fashion awards and stuff like that). Anyway, FP put the phone down. The couple sitting next to me on the other side of the carriage were wetting themselves. The phone rang again, same routine, but this one wanted her for a film. Suddenly turning bashful, FP could not possibly divulge ON THE TRAIN what she did exactly in films. Demanded the pen again and got off at Crewe.

    It was one of the funniest things that I have ever heard, and it wasn't long before it was the talk of the town due to the business woman, older than me, but she had never experienced anything like it.

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  16. Out on the town, how nice !
    Have yourself a wonderful time, my gran used to say "Keep your hand on your ha'penny "
    ~Jo

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  17. I once had a similar experience with the Bishop of Reading, between Paddington and his seat (oo-er missus), but it did nothing but shorten my journey. I hope your carrot vaginas did the same for you.

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  18. You'll regain your street cred in no time.

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  19. Blogging on a train ? - there's dedication. I like yor scarf.

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  20. I am new to your lovely blog, and don't know you, but, since you've brought it up, when do we get to see said orange rooty frou frou?!!

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  21. Oh gosh, John. Haha.
    *hugs* ♥ :-)

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  22. its those harlot carrots you always have to watch out for - they are bad company...

    side note = sporting scarf - love it!

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  23. Ok...this is off topic, but I am SO in love with Daryl from Walking Dead and love the pic of him with the ass kicker.

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  24. I suggest keeping Tom's 'chipolata' picture on screen when you travel by tube... it might cause a riot.

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  25. Hmm perhaps look him straight in the eye as you fling back your scarf and say "my veggies are none of your business sir ! " and indignantly straighten your mustard cardigan.

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  26. Vegetable porn - it's gets us all into trouble in the end :-)

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  27. Luckily, the custard has turned into rather a nice colour with my hue settings. I'm sorry you haven't shared the carrot with us John.

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  28. I wouldn't be surprised if the stuffy-looking executive businessman was peeking at something just as daft and pointless on his own iPad. He'd like you to think he was checking the share prices, but if you could actually see the screen....

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  29. Tom or John -- SHOW US THE CARROT!!!

    :^)

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes