Tuesday, 22 January 2013

I am Addison DeWitt...I am nobody's fool, least of all yours.

I am just that bit pompous enough not to ever allow myself to put up with rudeness.
If I decide to be polite when I challenge a snotty remark, I usually resort to the tried and tested
"I beg your pardon?"
But I have been known to jump quite magnificently into a verbal joust worthy of something out of ALL ABOUT EVE when the need arises and the wind is blowing in the right direction.
Generally I am not shy when it comes to confrontation.

Having said this..Ihave just had a consultation with my GP which was not the most pleasant of experiences.
In my mind he was brusque, offhand and insensitive, and after( what I thought was an overly rushed consultation) I was left feeling I had been talked over and not listened to.
And yet I walked away from the situation without saying anything.
And that annoyed me, because for that brief moment I was not the assertive, knowledgable practitioner....I was one of Joe public who was expected to do what he's told.
Of course I will say something to him the next time we meet. I shall feel strong enough, pert enough and justified enough to do so, but I shall approach it all in a ,measured, fatherly and icy calm way.
In that respect I am just like old Meg
middle aged gays are just like old bitches everywhere
We NEVER FORGET


56 comments:

  1. Whatever you do, don't be tempted to say, "Do you know who I am?!". It only provides them with more ammunition.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I said that ( unless the GP is a secret zombie/poultry/trelawnyd fan) I've lost the discussion
      Hey ho

      Delete
  2. And with that, he tossed his tresses, knotted his Laura Ashley headscarf securely under his nose and stalked out of the surgery...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I shall make sure I am not wearing my willies
      It's always difficult to be dignified in shit covered rubber boots

      Delete
    2. Willies? You have more than one! You lucky bastard! Mind you, I am glad the one I have is not detachable as clearly yours are because every time I went out saying to Marcia I was just off for a night with the boys she would reach into my Y Fronts, pluck it out and say, 'Well you won't be needing that then!'

      Delete
    3. Oh the joy of automatic iPad spell check!

      Delete
    4. Absolutely. It should be iSpell, uCheck.

      Delete
    5. Oh you two! This little conversation made me laugh out loud!

      Delete
    6. Oh God me too.!!!!

      Delete
    7. After a frustrating day of dealing with stupidity (yep, happens with regularity in the US) I needed that belly laugh desperately. John and Hippo.....can I give you guys a cyber hug? Good Lord that was hilarious.

      Delete
  3. ...a considered approach to Doctor Rude will be all the more effective I suspect, and you'll feel all the better for it, providing you don't brood over it in the meantime!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm constantly having experiences like this, normally with consultants and registrars, and feel compelled to hold my tongue as I'm treated like an idiot. I walk out feeling crushed and inadequate and this seems to have increased since (a) moving to the South West and (b) since hitting 45. Hmmmm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps the older we get the more invisible we become

      Delete
  5. What is it with these doctors? This is an all too familiar story. I'd say give as good as you get next time. It's hard enough going to the doctor's.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps he was having a bad day

      Delete
  6. I have only been rude to a medic once and that was when my daughter decided to stick her hand out and ask to be born at 1am. The registrar said she wasn't sure if she should wake the surgeon...

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a pity you didn't tell him what you thought at the time, he will have forgotten his rudeness by the time you next see him.
    There's no excuse for this 'know your place' attitude.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will make him remember.. Be assured of that

      Delete
  8. Sounds like an episode of Doc Martin :)
    ~Jo

    ReplyDelete
  9. I remember a TV interview once where a woman who was a patient said she always insists on calling her doctor by his/her first name! I've always wished I had the nerve ...

    ReplyDelete
  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  11. Having an extensive education as doctor's do....you would think they would have been taught common sense and courtesy but many times not... (if not their parents should have taught them!) ..I now have a younger doctor who takes all the time in the world with me, answers questions, reassures and shows great concern with my health. Ponder how you will quietly and "gently" set him back on his heels...Always after this type of encounter I think of so many things I wish I had said....but they would probably just laughed and thought " the crazy old bitch has finally lost it!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well this bitch nearly lost it also

      Delete
  12. John, I am the same when it comes to someone talking down or being rude. I just went through a similiar consultation with a Family Nurse Practitioner - C. Told her I brought questions, as told. She cut me off and said, "I am NOT your Primary Physician" right then and there I would've normally popped but,
    just as you reacting like Joe Public, I believe I allowed myself to step back into time. The time of my military days and whatever was said, I followed. No questions or replies.
    I am upset with myself for allowing this to happen. However, I did one thing when the staff kept forcefully threatening me an ER trip IF my BP didn't come down. (like I had control over the BP) After the 3rd threat, I said, DO IT! They sent me home with a monitor.

    But, the FNP ordeal is still weighing heavily on my mind. If ever another meeting and she treats me the same, I will light her ass up. And, quite frankly, I'm looking forward to it.

    Mike

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love that phrase LIGHT HER ASS UP..I shall use that again

      Delete
  13. It was probably the best thing to do on hindsight, as now you can think about what you will say next time you see him in a considered and measured way. Not nice though....... at our doctors ( which I visit about once every 10 years ) we are told only to ask about one thing and that we have 10 minutes !!!!
    Did you watch the great comic relief bake off last night John ? XXXX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just watched it this morning while I am baking.....I do miss it

      Delete
  14. going with dh to the doctors tomorrow to insist on a second opinion on dh's knees, as the original surgeon has the bed side manner of a cockroach {{{SIGH}}}

    ReplyDelete
  15. My husband (who went through surgery and chemo last year) ALWAYS calls his doctors by their first names.

    His mom was mortified by that! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  16. My favorite is raised eyebrow (only one, shocked look and a murmured "OH MY!" But, let's face it, the dolts never know.

    ReplyDelete
  17. We're of a generation that grew up with doctors being overly respected and never to be challenged. We're still not used to the idea that doctors can be criticised if they say something we don't like or don't understand. Next time, give him a piece of your mind if necessary!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I feel very fortunate to have a very kind and wonderful GP. Seems they are hard to come by these days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mine usually has been very nice
      Perhaps his wife burnt his toast?

      Delete
    2. Or confiscated his willie before he walked out the door that morning? :)

      Delete
  19. As a rule, I do not care for Specialists or Nurse practitioners or Physicians either. Since my hair has gone gray, they think I am deaf and stupid and have millions of dollars for "tests"...

    Oh... don't get me going.........

    ReplyDelete
  20. I feel that way every time I go to the doctor...they never seem to listen. Then I feel as if it was not even worth going.

    ReplyDelete
  21. well at least you got an ADULT doctor- I had a hospital appointment and thought it was obviously bring-your-child-to-work-day so decided I'd better humour the 12 year-old as he asked some rather impertinent questions...then it slowly dawned...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Ah yes - the consultant who patronisingly asked me why I thought I had osteo arthritis did have the grace to look a bit sheepish when I answered the senior consultant - your boss. no opinion. Nothing like being spoken to as though you have no education and I find myself mentally wanting to use the phrase 'Young Man' in Lady Bracknell tones more and more. It's really hard to be assertive when you're not feeling your best and an uncaring doctor only makes it worse. Hope you feel better soon John.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I think it's best that you didn't initially say anything. I have very often regretted speaking out of anger. After having sufficient time to collect your thoughts, you can rationally speak your mind the next time you see him!

    ReplyDelete
  24. In the US since we do not have socialized medicine (but your Dr.s visit wasnt very social??!) we have to pay health insurance, and most times that wont cover it all - you have to pay beyond that....so I will always remind them if they get a little brisk with me is - "I have just got done paying out $3900. for this test - give me my moneys worth please"

    always shocks them back to my level LOL

    ReplyDelete
  25. Well you must have been feeling under par John but probably better saying nowt than 'lighting his ass up' just this once. I hate confrontation and avoid it at all costs...but as a scorpio I have a temper like a tempest and just like Ms Channing I never forget. Feel better.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Very cool blog. Interesting posts. ;)
    Nice atmosphere guests with you here on the blog. ;]
    Yours. Have a nice day. !

    Follow me on facebook fanpage and blog
    I'm very concerned about this, please. :)
    https://www.facebook.com/pages/In-another-light/413836138693856

    ReplyDelete
  27. Yes John, plan your attack!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I love it! Not that you didn't assert yourself this time, but that you usually DO. That shows self-respect. Or so I hear. I'm a real wimp when it comes to confrontation, and always give the other person the benefit of the doubt, keep my mouth shut, and think that perhaps he's having a horrid day. Which, I noticed you also said in one of your responses to a comment. Hmmm, maybe we aren't all that different after all.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I have never tolerated a Dr being rude to me....I am, after all, the customer and they seem to forget I can take my sorry ass somewhere else. I also never forget that it's the nurses that are the heart of any health care facility. IMHO

    ReplyDelete
  30. I have no problems with doctors here in Canada. I am a big man so they respect me as much as I respect them, but we must remember to leave our attitudes and over sensitivity at the door. Doctors are human as well.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Sorry to read about your experience with your GP. You will redress the balance, I'm sure.

    Now then, when I last saw my GP, well sort of saw him, he placed on the surgical glove and I did quip, "If being a doctor doesn't work out for you, you can always get a job at Customs..."

    ReplyDelete
  32. Some of them are like that. Perhaps he was just having a bad day. When you go again - just ask to see someone else. Our doctors are OK but the nurse is brilliant - like they are. Hippo's comments cracked me up BTW

    ReplyDelete
  33. I know how you feel, John. Except I don't usually speak up. Good luck and have a better week!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Ugh, I hate doctors like that!!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Doctors (I ALWAYS use their first names) forget sometimes that we are there in front of them usually because we're feeling under the weather. It's hard to be assertive in those situations.

    I once said to mine "What's happened to your bedside manner today?" That seemed to work quite well and he apologised immediately.

    I hope that whatever you went to see yours for, is all better now.

    ReplyDelete
  36. You get doctors like that everywhere. I vote with my feet. :)

    ReplyDelete
  37. I had one doctor like that, and didn't say anything, but argued with him on nearly every point. I changed doctors but let the practice know why i was changing.

    The last time i saw my GP (day i fractured my fifth metatarsal) he waxed on about certain baseline tests he thought i should have. In three minutes, i saw that we have very different opinions, but calmly said, "Can we please see to my bloody foot as that is most pressing and deal with these other things later?" This GP is a replacement for the one i had seen in 2010 when it was time for my tetenaus shot. I wasn't feeling my best that day, so haven't decided about this one.

    The other one i fired wouldn't listen to me when i was healthy (i had gone in for a physical) so i did not feel at all comfortable that he would listen to me when i was unwell.

    And yes, i have found that now i'm in my 50's i'm put on the shelf and very much invisible.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x