Saturday, 10 November 2012

The "C" Word, Sue "The Sheep" Zombie Overload and Sex in Public

Well if that title doesn't bring in the readers bugger all will!

We are hurtling towards the Christmas holidays!
There I have said it! the dratted "C " word.
I knew things had ventured into all-things tinsel once my Halloween pumpkin had started to rot down after a thousand little pecks on the field.
The poor thing is now looking decidedly zombiefied.
Christmas is coming and last night the WALKING DEAD producers killed off half of the main characters
Lori died after a make shift Cesarean went wrong, T Bone had his face ripped off and poor Carol disappeared to god knows where......it's all a bit much seeing that the festive season is only a bug fart away.
Lori RIP
My nerves were shredded after all the mayhem.
I wonder if in a post apocalypse world, do the survivors celebrate Christmas?
 Well you can buy Zombie Christmas cards!!!!!
See Lee's website

I have had to deal with "The C Word" head on today, as I needed to buy my Mother-in-law her annual Christmas decoration pressie ( a tradition I have always carried out for the past decade or so)
Every year she will get a selection of shiny, useless tinsel covered shite through the post, and every year she and I will enjoy the annual tradition of it all.
I Will bubble wrap it all ready for posting with other Christmas decs I send to loved ones in Australia and in Derbyshire!
There I have said it......I have mentioned the Christmas word at least three times already!
I am dealing with it, instead of fearing it!
I am going to make a great deal of my Christmas bits this year....so look forward to be astounded by a multitude of photographs of homemade "crap and bollocks" over the next few weeks.
hey ho
It's amazing what rubbish one middle aged old git can produce when he puts his mind to things
Irene and Sylvia getting ever closer!!
Anyhow, today I met  self confessed sheep geek and ex vet nurse Sue when I was out with the dogs.
I knew she was a "sheep geek" cos she had on her tried and trusted "ewe sweatshirt"
I was wearing my tried and tested "Walking Dead" t shirt, so of course we bonded immediately being joint saddos of the highest calibre
Sue, will prove to be a huge asset I am sure, for she is a sheep expert to outrun all sheep experts! Within a minute or so, she had told me everything I needed to know about the length of a ram's urethra ( which I am sure will come in handy one day) and gave me a mini lecture on what type of ram to get to maximise lamb meat!
She was a delight!
I left her with the assurance that I will be in touch
And I will be
.
And Finally
Do any of you remember Carol and Polenta?
Well the two ducklings from the summer and now two fat plump "fat bastard" ducks
who spend a great deal of their time shagging each other.
I have not seen a drake (Polenta) as ardent so late in the season
Perhaps more experienced duck owners could clarify this point for me?
I caught sight of a lady from the village out walking her two dogs this morning . She stopped by the gate and was confronted with some full on duck on duck action, which made her visibly balk somewhat
"Mucky buggers" she said to no one in particular before she shepherded her little dogs away
It was all a bit too much!
Off to bed now for an hour or so now., I am working tonight
Perhaps I will dream of zombies, shagging fat waterfowl, Christmas trees and a shepherdess called Sue!

35 comments:

  1. Ok........I'm sensing a bit of a downward spiral.....................

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    1. Circling the drain as we speak.
      Jane x

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    2. consider me "flushed"... ;)

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  2. A good demonstration of 'Air opinion', n'est pas?

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  3. Life in the gentle countryside of Wales is never dull.

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  4. I can't believe Lori is dead! Shocking!!!!!!

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  5. We rehomed our ducks as the drake insisted on shagging our Jack Russell bitch. She's a gentle soul, for sure, but her tolerance was sorely tried. I figured the drake was better off elsewhere, before the dog took matters into her own hands......

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  6. John, you've discovered a whole new level of eccentricity, I think. "Mucky buggers"--ha! I learn something new every day here.

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  7. My God! How you make me smile in the mornings, John!!! Life seems pretty dull in my small, rural town next to your Welsh village!!! My only excitement this week was panicking because Emma, my calico princess, was missing 3 nights ago. She didn't appear as she usually does when I drove my car into my parking space in front of the apts. about 5pm. When Dark showed its face, I finally left my door open a crack so she could push in, since I closed the living room blinds and wouldn't see her if she jumped on the window sill. Finally about 9:30 a new neighbor knocked on my door and asked if I had a calico cat. Seems the little brat got in her apt. while she was fetching groceries from her car, and had been hiding under her sofa all evening. To paraphrase the wonderful Art Linkletter, "Animals do the darnedest things!"

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  8. I was wondering whether you'd watched it yet! I'm so happy that Lori died, however, I have a sneaking suspicion that Carl didn't actually shoot her...

    Hannah

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    1. I thought that but i WAS more worried about carol

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    2. That never even occurred to me... maybe he DIDN'T shoot her... or maybe she's not even dead... she died pretty easy, it seemed to me... and they didn't even check her pulse.

      Maybe she'll come wondering out of the back room, staggering and bloodied but alive, and everyone will assume she's a zombie and ol hubby will shoot her... then he'll be filled with remorse and carry on and such.

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    3. The best thing they ever did was kill her off. I was saddened by the loss of T bone but, as one of the producers said in an interview. In a real world, people die. The loved and unloved. The previews for 'my' tomorrows' show has Rick acting a bit more of a barbarian, savage bastard. Can't wait.

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  9. It might help if, instead of you using the 'C' word, you change it into the shorter 'X' word. It seems to be slightly more amenable as regards blood pressure, I find. Just a suggestion.

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  10. There's no getting away from the "C" word here . . . Youngest one is counting the sleeps until "Advent Calendar day" . . . O lord.
    It should be something to look forward to but unfortunately the financial pressure of it all has made it a dreaded word in my head . . . I'm sure this must be the case for a lot of parents. I'm having animals next time round x

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  11. Next year it will be easy - bobble hats all round. You will have the wool.. assuming you can catch it first.

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  12. Hilarious and entertaining!!

    You are so right about last week's Walking Dead. I am still thinking about how Lori's young son was forced to finish her off.... the icing on that cake for sure! And that sinister, creepy "Governor"...... I am wondering when the 2 tribes of survivors will meet up. It will be something!

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  13. A full day, and you havn't been to work yet.

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  14. Joe usually gives me a many worded catch up of the walking dead which, being a sixteen year old who can not fully wake up in the mornings he is beginning to resemble as he walks to the bus more & more!

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  15. Wait...lamb meat? LAMB MEAT? You aren't going to eat any wee fuzzy wuzzy lambs. Hee hee.

    Did you know that lamb and mutton taste like sheep smell? My lady says that now that she has pet sheep and hugs them every day and inhales their lovely scent that she can't eat mutton anymore. Just wait until you can hold your own lovely lambs and inhale their lovely lambie smell. Hee hee

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  16. Ah, Christmas. Hate all the long-winded preparations and the endless Xmas hype in the media. Love the actual day with its special food and wine and the annual highly competitive chess tournament between me and Jenny.

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  17. That has to be the most random post ever. Bonkers, but I reckon you should be proud!

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  18. Stopped at the "farmyard" today.....the birds all ran to the gate as we watched.....one thing struck me, how much do the guinea fowl look like small cassowarys ? .....tough walk today, my older dog had to be put down at lunchtime, so looking at other animals was a nice lttle distraction !

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  19. I love the name of your sheep..Irene and Sylvia...Fat and Sassy:) I love reading your blog.. Christmas is coming and we have to be ready and prepare for giving gifts to the people we care about.
    Have a tiggeriffic day~! ta ta for now from Iowa:)

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  20. never a dull moment in your neck of the woods,

    Gill

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  21. I personally like Yule over the C word. Makes it easier on the soul .

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  22. Some might call those dreams of yours nightmares...

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  23. I saw "Lori" on a talk show cpl of days ago. I barely recognized her with makeup and clean clothes....even her voice was different. She said she was now out of a job and that others had taken over the task of planning the good-bye dinners she started for those whose characters are killed off, so maybe Carl did shoot her. She also hinted that there will be more child zombies to deal with in the future.

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  24. lol, what a post to cheer up a dull sunday morning! thankyou!

    Leanne x
    talesofsimpledays.blogpost.com

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    1. am having problems opening your blog page leanne

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  25. Speep well and I shall look forward to your crap and bollocks in the run up to the BIG C.

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  26. My ducks are still going at it night and day, so your drakes' fervour doesn't surprise me. Of course, you have more refined ducks than my Muscovy pigs!

    And I loathe Christmas... it's gotten to the point where I cringe when I hear a Christmas carol. After my MIL is gone, I will never eat turkey again.

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  27. Is Shepherdess Sue going to be added to your recipient list for your tinsel-covered shite? Between you and William's fur-lined turds, i think you may have garnered the blue ribbon for those completely unexpected and quite unbelieveable gifts.

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