Sunday, 28 October 2012

Poisoned Twister

I have never had a real problem with rats.
From time to time, their tell tale borrows can be seen sliding their way underneath some of the coops, but with some careful administration of poisoned pellets down their runs, the threat of any long term problem is usually done and dusted with remarkable speed.
I don't like rats around.
When he was a mere kitten Albert took on a rat on the field, and very nearly lost the fight until George interceded and broke the little bastard's neck with one powerful snap.
Yes....rats can be dangerous.
Yesterday I noticed a couple of rat "runs" under the turkey house and after the hens had been safely locked away I placed a load of the cerise poisoned pellets on a small tray and slid them under the house where they could be munched upon in private.
This morning I had forgot all about the poison and had completed most of the morning jobs when I just so happened to look over at the turkey house.

I KNOW it's a soddin Hamster!
Scattered all around the the side of the coop, and thankfully out of the way of the ewes were the pellets. The rats (devious little buggers that they are) had munched the poison over night and then they had pulled the tray out into the open where they had scattered the pellets in the grass with gay abandon.
The hens were all out and bright blue pellets to a hen with a brain the size of an average pea means only one thing
"DINNER"
With the ever curious warrens galloping forward  in the pouring rain, there was only one thing I could do to stop a mass suicide from taking place and so I sat down on the poison, effectively covering it from prying beaks
what followed next was a bit like some sort of odd game of poultry twister
with the ever knowing hens trying to get themselves a gob-full of goodies as I tried manfully to cover any stray pellet with some part of my body.
I was down and dirty in the muddy grass for an estimated 20 minutes!
Anyway, I think I succeeded , but remained, soaked  on the ground until all of the girls had became bored with the game and had wandered off. I only left the field after every one of the miniature pellets had been removed , it took an age
As I walked back to the cottage, looking, I may add ,like the "wreck of the Hesperus"
I spied neighbour Mike who just gave me one of those 
"I won't ask" type of looks.
I threw him a look which stated "don't!"
The next time I see a rat, I'll strangle the bastard with my bare hands

41 comments:

  1. I took out a false ceiling in our first house here, to find several whole fresh eggs amongst all the rat droppings dust etc. How they had got them up there is a mystery. The nearest hens were about 100 metres away, and there were no obvious ways into the false ceiling. If they could do that; they could do almost anything! NASTY.

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  2. We leave a permanent cage trap under our hen house, always baited. About once a fortnight there is a rat in it - but of course the farmer has then got to kill it. I don't ask how he does that.

    Seems to me that what you need John is a day in front of a warm fire with a glass of the hard stuff and a plate of Auntie Glady's scones. Enjoy.

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  3. It's not the weather to be playing on the muddy grass like that John!
    I hope you're warm and dry now.

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  4. Well done you! Greater love hath no man than this: that he lays down in the mud and on top of poison for his hens!!!

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    1. here, here, Fat Dormouse!

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  5. I did something similar having dropped a bottle of wine. The geese made a beeline for it, obviously partial to a bit of Pinot Grigio themselves. But there were little bits of glass everywhere and I was worried about cut feet.

    For my trouble, I got pecked. I hope your hens have better manners.

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  6. I agree well done on being the best carer in the world for those helpless animals and never mind people would have thought you had pooped your pants when you walked past them with you sitting in all the mud!!!

    Gill

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  7. Absolutely brilliant! I have just laughed out loud for the first time ever on reading a blog! i would have done exactly the same thing for my chicken girls. Well done you. We have mice and its my job to empty the traps regularly. Hubby is too squeamish. Those pesky mice chew the girls' tail feathers in the night, so gotta be done.

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  8. My God - what a life you lead in rain-soaked Wales. Never mind, it keeps us entertained.

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  9. You need to set up a security camera. We miss much too much.

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  10. I agree with Mitchell. You need to install a camera!

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  11. I remember when we had a shed on our allotment, it was like Colditz underneath, it a wonder the floor of the shed didn't colapse. lol
    Briony
    x

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  12. I can only echo Tom and Mitch. My god, what a life you lead.

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  13. Yes, the camera please....but good for you!

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  14. Ha! Ha! It's the Trelawnyd Cabaret once again! But pray tell me your earlship, as you are expert in such matters, what exactly is "gay abandon"? I had previously thought it was the name of Julian Clary's body spray.

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  15. You're a good chicken daddy John. Good work.

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  16. We always worry about putting out poison for rats. Periodically they occupy our roof space and that is easy enough as the dogs are safe from there but all sorts of dog proof devices have been tried elsewhere. The trouble is the horrible things( the rats I mean !!) like to pick up the poison blocks and carry them around, leaving them in the open when they've finished with them even when we've wired them into place.The stuff is too lethal to fool around with.

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  17. I used poison one year. Placed it in out-of-the-way places so the dogs couldn't get it. I lost a Yorkie pup. She had signs of poisoning. Never, ever again. I use Victor and his cousins to snap the crap out of em, now.
    Glad your chicks didn't have a feeding frenzy. I dropped a galvanized roofing nail once. Morticia gobbled it up before I could breathe in. Luckily she spit if up and I snatched it.

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  18. Joan of Arc was less a martyr than you! You are the best chic pimp ever. Now here is my trick. Flood one end of the run with a hose, stand at the other end with a shovel. When they run out of the water drenched run, you whack them with the shovel HARD. A most satisfying day. (It's what I am forced to do to pass the time because no one ever invites me to a ball!)

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  19. Never a dull moment, is there. No wonder you are my favorite story teller.

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  20. Just a couple of days ago you were dressed up for a film premier and now here you are sitting on rat poison. Life can take some turns, huh?

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  21. I have had the best laugh reading this. My daughter-in-law asked why I was laughing so I read it to her and she's now laughing too. What a great way to cheer up such a dull and dreary day...

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  22. You do paint a messy visual, John!

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  23. You have had your share of the little (big) bastards lately...I hope I never have to run across one face to face. Great save on the "gang" by the way. xx

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  24. Sorry John but I am giggling here - what a sight !

    I had to call the rat catcher in once & he had to make several visits. He looked strangely rat faced himself !

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  25. I hate rats more than anything else in the world x

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  26. Jeez, the humiliations you have to endure to keep your animal guests safe and sound! Covered in mud and filth and besieged by greedy hens. Surely you're due a modest medal for gallantry in the field?

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  27. I loathe rats, they used to eat my baby rabbits in the nest.
    If you watch Beatrix Potter's "Samuel Whiskers", you can see how rats are able to transport just about anything back to their nests, even kittens !
    ~Jo

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  28. We fed the wild birds for years until we had to stop because the birds were sharing with rat families!! We spread some 'pellets' as well and stopped feeding birds!
    Close one for you, John!

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  29. Oh LOL! Just read this out loud to my other half! Well done you protecting your flock! Sounds to me as if strangling would definitely be easier ;-)!

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  30. I applaud your heroic efforts to keep the hens from eating the poison pellets! Of course, the truth is that rats will probably survive long after we humans and our domesticated poultry are long gone.

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  31. Who'd have thought it, John, that MY day would come to strike a blow for the rat. Please do get a refund.

    Like pigs rats are intelligent. Not that that makes them exempt from being a nuisance. Still, John, rats have rights too. Like, for instance, to live. It's not their fault that they look ghastly with a naked tail to match.

    If there are two species in the animal world I have to try very hard to cope with it's spiders and rats. The day I'll be in prison, lonely and forsaken, I will be glad of the company of either.

    Fact is, ask anyone in New York if they can be bothered to think about it: None of us is ever further away from a rat than a few meters. Which is why I now live on the second floor. Rats can't be arsed to climb stairs.

    U

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  32. You do what you have to, and that's what you did! But just know that you're in good company, I won't admit to half of what I've done outside to try and keep the dogs safe--I wonder what my new neighbors will think?

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  33. OMG - what a hilarious picture you evoked!!! And, BTW, you also quoted my mother's favorite description - she was always claiming that someone looked like "the wreck of the Hesperus!"

    Nancy in Iowa (hopefully far enough from dreaded Sandy and storm cousins to be safe...)

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  34. Hysterical wih laughter here John. And so is my 81 year old Mum ! Thanks. We needed it.

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  35. What is going on with the rats in your neck of the woods? First the broken "John" and now you've most certainly ruined a perfectly good set of chore clothes due to their shenanigans!!!! I'm not a rat whisperer, but I think they are sitting in the bushes laughing at you and plotting their next move.
    I'd use bar bait going forward, if it's available near you, at least you can stomp on that, cover it with one foot and keep your poultry safe and your bum out of the mud. (sorry...but I laughed too)

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  36. Rats in our garage last week - I was straight out with the traps, poison, whatever - no messing. Squirrels are much the same - rats with tails

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  37. I meant rats with furry tails - of course rats have tails!

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  38. This is why i don't spread poison for the rodents here. My concern is that even if they don't spread it all around for others to ingest, they may be outside after eating the poison and captured by one of the cats. The kitties don't always eat their quarry, but i don't want to take chances like that if i don't have to.

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  39. Oh dear John - I'm getting strange looks as I have actually LOL'd Loudly at work! :)

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  40. Thanks, I didn't think anything would make me laugh today. And then I read your blog...You surely need your own TV show!

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