Monday, 19 March 2012

Health & Safety Comes to Trelawnyd

The sign says BEWARE, HORMONAL TURKEY!
Spring is here!
You can always tell!
Testosterone is on the increase in torrents and the few males on the field have suddenly been transformed from benign poultry and water fowl "sweet things" into posturing, hormone filled sex addicts, who are ready, literally , for anything!
The turkey stags are now spending all day puffing themselves up in a schoolboy effort to prove who exactly is tougher than the other and when they are not jousting, they have positioned themselves next to the field gate, ready to attack anyone who ventures close enough to be given a good bashing!

Several of the villagers will come into the field to feed the animals without checking with me first, so just in case Boris and Bingley actually "kick the crap" out of some poor old soul, I have had to post a warning sign that will effectively keep people out until turkey lead has been well and truly emptied.

Halleh as a ducking with him mum Blanche
Halleh, the lone drake has started his usual springtime attempt to rape several of the brown hens ( funny how he finds this colour of hen irresistible!) His confusion of duck versus hen can be located in the fact that he was raised by a broody hen rather than one of the hysterical Indian runners.
In the mating season, drakes can be terribly aggressive and brutal, so I have learnt long ago to keep their numbers to an absolute minimum. Halleh has seven ducks all of his own.....and still he has a roving eye for a buxom brown hen............beauty is certainly in the eye of the beholder!

Russell the gander has been mating noisily with Winnie his chosen goose only this morning, and even the blind Rooster  Cogburn has been belting out a lusty baritone cock-a doodle  in the vague hope of shagging something warm blooded as it passes his safe haven prison..

Love...is certainly "in the air!"

btw...weight loss this week NIL! which I was thankful for seeing that I filled my face on my London trip remains 14 stone 7lb

27 comments:

  1. "The turkey stags are now spending all day puffing themselves up in a schoolboy effort to prove who exactly is tougher than the other..."

    Schoolboy effort? I am 52 and it all sounds very close to home.

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  2. As I write there are two cock pheasants outside my kitchen window - both posturing and jumping up and down. Eight hen pheasants are eating there as well - they are taking absolutely no notice. Us ladies know it is best to let the men get the posturing over and sort themselves out first.

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  3. And who said 'the age of romance was over'?

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  4. A brief review of your comments:

    "lead...emptied", "mating noisily", "rape", "aggressive and brutal", "prison"

    You are a psychologist's wet dream, and I think you perhaps need some help.

    Nx

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  5. It's like a regular shagathon down your end (so to speak).

    It makes vegetables seem so civilised!!!

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  6. Nige
    All I can say in my defence is
    boring.....and soup!

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  7. Yep, our air is thick with testosterone as well. The ganders are flogging each other hourly it seems!

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  8. Oh, go on, throw it back....if you are kindly, I might make you some soup sometime. But if you are unkind, it'll just be "cup-a-soup" in a bowl...yikes ;-o

    Nx

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  9. Holding steady on the weight is a good thing after a celebration. Congratulations on that.

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  10. Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it.............

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  11. Music to someone's ears I suppose?
    Have a great day, John.

    Hope no one ignores your sign!

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  12. If its a sign that spring is here...then hurrah!

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  13. On Friday afternoon, JoJo and i wateched spellbound as the turkey hens flew into the back yard. Two landed at the base of the bird feeder, and the others stayed in the field behind the fence.

    I saw the Tom display his feathers a few times and all the hens save the two at the base of the feeder, lined up and marched single file into the woods. He watched them as they walked by and displayed his feathers every so often.

    The two at the feeder stayed for nearly a half hour before silently moving off. It's amazing how stealthy they can be.

    megan

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  14. This sounds the same as here as a friend has a super randy drake leaving the ducks in his wake, traumatised. Oh Spring!

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  15. I hope the huge clouds of testosterone aren't causing any problems to local motorists, what with visibility down to nil. Perhaps another warning sign is needed?

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  16. I hope the huge clouds of testosterone aren't causing any problems to local motorists, what with visibility down to nil. Perhaps another warning sign is needed?

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  17. I really like your sign. I could have used a photo of that last week. Wow...a regular Spring fling going on there. I hope that the dogs are behaving.

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  18. I've never seen the film Caligula. I'll just wait for you to post some field footage John.

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  19. You need to be careful. If the Royal College of Nursing hears that you're managing a bawdy den of lustful iniquity where anything goes, you will surely be struck off. Hormonal Turkeys - aren't they a splinter band from Arctic Monkeys?

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  20. ain't life grand...love (read procreation) efforts abound around the world as the desire for the "survival of the fittest" rages on!

    even in gentle Trelawnyd! Where John's hormonal turkeys will eat your eyes out of you mess with them! Beware indeed!

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  21. Yes, I think anyone at close quarters with our feathered friends this time of year loses all dreams of romance. !

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  22. Nature red in tooth and phwoar, eh?

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  23. That's not a menagerie - it's a sex show! lol!

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  24. Fine ! You have driven me too it. A post about our horndog turkey coming right up. You do your side of the pond and I'll do mine.

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  25. The wild mallards and Canadian geese are the ones to watch around here come spring (not yet arrived this year.) The ducks in particular get very aggressive and I would have happily ripped the heads off a couple of them over the years when I saw them tearing the feathers out of a poor hen who couldn't escape a gang, try though she may. But after things calm down we have pairs nesting under every bush and on top of every telephone pole, followed by newly hatched broods of fluff stopping traffic all over town on their way to water. The cycle is extraordinary every single year.
    Dxxx

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  26. Truly awe inspring weight loss.


    And, nowhere near hormonal anything I loved this post. Thanks.

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  27. Love the pics of Halleh and baby!

    I had two drakes fighting over me yesterday. When you're hot, you're hot. No blood was drawn.

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